Brits 2015: Ordinary people
On Thursday night, the Brit Awards shortlist was announced, packed full of reasonable-sounding people making pleasant enough tunes, I guess. There's so much prospect of Sam Smith waltzing away with armfuls of prizes on the night - Best Okayish Album of the Year; You Could Probably Introduce Him To Your Mother of 2014; Brightest Hope of Smiling Photo Op With Whoever Wins The Election Probably At A Youth Club Or Something; he may even get the Look There's No Soul There At All Which Equals Success prize, the big one of the night.
Here's the shortlists in full:
British Album
Alt-J – This Is All Yours
Ed Sheeran – X
George Ezra – Wanted On Voyage
Royal Blood – Royal Blood
Sam Smith – In The Lonely Hour
British Single
Calvin Harris – Summer
Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne – Rather Be
Duke Dumont featuring Jax Jones – I Got U
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud
Ella Henderson – Ghost
George Ezra – Budapest
Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk
Route 94 featuring Jess Glynne – My Love
Sam Smith – Stay With Me
Sigma – Nobody To Love
British Breakthrough Artist
Chvrches
FKA Twigs
George Ezra
Royal Blood
Sam Smith
British Female Solo Artist
Lily Allen
Paloma Faith
Ella Henderson
FKA Twigs
Jessie Ware
British Male Solo Artist
Damon Albarn
George Ezra
Paolo Nutini
Ed Sheeran
Sam Smith
British Video
Calvin Harris – Summer
Charlie XCX – Boom Clap
Duke Dumont featuring Jax Jones – I Got U
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud
Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars – Uptown Funk
One Direction – You And I
Rita Ora – I Will Never Let You Down
Route 94 featuring Jess Glynne – My Love
Sam Smith – Stay With Me
Sigma – Nobody To Love
British Producer
Flood
Alison Goldfrapp and Will Gregory
Paul Epworth
Jake Gosling
International Female Solo Artist
Beyonce
Lana Del Ray
Sia
St. Vincent
Taylor Swift
International Group
5 Seconds of Summer
Black Keys
First Aid Kit
Foo Fighters
The War On Drugs
International Male Solo Artist
Beck
Hozier
Jack White
John Legend
Pharrell Williams
Critics’ Choice Award
James Bay
In a statement released shortly after the announcement of the shortlists, someone from the BPI apologised for the appearance of Lily Allen, Coldplay, Beck and Damon Albarn on the shortlists. "We reused an old form for typing these things up, and I don't think we quite deleted all the old items from the word doc - we did catch Duran Duran before we hit save, which is at least something."
The Brit Awards will be presented by Joe Pasquale and Bradley Walsh sooner than is comfortable for any of us. The best we can hope is that Taylor Swift will turn up.