Miley Cyrus: If you have tears, prepare to shed them now

Poor Carl McCoid. He used to like Miley Cyrus. He used to like her a lot.

So much so, he got 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos, all over his body.

The problem? Oh, Carl:

He said: "People can't seem to see past the tattoos and it was having a very negative effect on my life where I felt trapped by them. I've just gone off her."

Carl is trapped in a cell of his own making. A skin cell, if you will.

He's blaming the tattoos for his inability to get a girlfriend - which might be confusing symptoms with the problem.

Still, was Miley impressed with his efforts?

Miley said in an interview last year that Carl's tattoos were "ugly" and "creepy", but Carl, a dad-of-three, insists her comments are not the main reason he wants to get them removed.

Carl appears to believe that Miley is too raunchy. And:

Carl, who runs his own ironing business from home, realised his obsession had gone too far when he stood in front of the mirror and was shocked by the sight of his Miley-covered torso.

Potential girlfriends don't like them. Miley Cyrus doesn't like them. He doesn't like them.

Oh, Carl.

He has spent £2,700 on the tattoos, which he says seem to be the only talking point when he goes on dates. He said: "The conversation just seems to be centred around them and it just gets boring. I feel like I can't move on."

He's having some of the tatts removed, and others will be covered over with other designs. Presumably meaning on future dates the conversation will be centred on why he has a tattoo of Miley Cyrus wearing a Groucho Marx face mask.

Hannah Montana to South Mendips: Check

Now, it's possible that Miley Cyrus is going to play next year's Glastonbury.

On the other hand, this rumour coming a couple of days after the announcement of when the tickets will go on sale makes me wonder if it's not a cunning scheme:

- I'd love to go to Glastonbury next year.
- Yeah, but we can never get tickets. The demand is way too high.
- If only there was some way we could kill demand before people are thinking about booking.
- You mean we need some sort of wrecking ball?
- Yes! Yes, that's exactly what we need.

The VMAs happened, and we'd be better off if we try and pretend it didn't

The VMAs - the bit on the calendar when everyone remembers MTV still broadcast - happened yesterday, in a series of events in which pop music finally broke.

Miley Cyrus was on hosting duties, and couldn't decide what to wear. So in the end she wore everything:

Every single one of Miley's VMA stage looks. Which one is your favorite? #VMA #MileyVMAs pic.twitter.com/ThvbZxU3mT

— Miley Cyrus Fashion (@StylishCyrus) August 31, 2015

Seven outfits. Seven outfits, and not one of them worked. The one with the giant Smarties on, clearly, was sold to her by a designer trying to keep a straight face while insisting that he had GaGa on the other line putting in a bid for it. But that was just the worst of a very, very bad bunch.

Somewhere this morning Billy Ray Cyrus is saying "when I said there's no way you're going on stage dressed like that", I wasn't being an overprotective father; I was talking on behalf of Vogue."

It's not just Miley's dresses which had most of America thinking it was time for an intervention, though. She's now got dreads.

Of course, there's no reason why Miley Cyrus can't have dreads - even ones that are so obviously fake that they look like they've recently been used to stop trawlers drifting off to sea - but it came across as a somewhat insensitive thing to do after her recent dis on Nicki:

Miley Cyrus berated Nicki for speaking out on issues that affect black women in the music industry,& is also wearing dreads rn. The audacity

— hot ebony mom (@egbaprincess) August 31, 2015

It shows something of a deaf ear, or poor advice, to spend a chunk of the week telling a black woman she doesn't know how to campaign on behalf of under-represented black women, only to turn up with a head full of shoddy cultural appropriation. It's fair to say it didn't go down well.

And that wasn't the end of the racial insensitivity for the night:

MTV: racism is bad! MTV: allows miley cyrus onstage in dreads, allows rebel wilson to dress up as a cop introducing the hip hop category

— spock kirk (@mrtrohman) August 31, 2015

In case you're not sure that having someone introduce the hip hop awards dressed as a cop making jokes about "injustice" is that much of a dick move, even the Daily Mail noticed.

Kanye was also there. He made reference to that time he was on before and gatecrashed Taylor Swift picking up an award:

He spoke of the aftermath of interrupting Swift lo those many years ago. He bit the hand that was feeding him by saying, "You know how many times MTV ran that footage again, 'cause it got them more ratings?"

It must have been galling that when you tried to make a gallant gesture in order to put the focus firmly on yourself, only for the awards show you're at to make hay from it, eh.

West also used the occasion to announce his plans for the next decade:

"And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided, in 2020, to run for president."

Cyrus's reaction to this - which came after a break, which means not only did she have time to think of a response, but other people could have, too, was:

“Trump, you had my vote. But now? Kanye West for president!”

Even in jest, to tell Donald Trump you were going to vote for him is deadly. Perhaps there was some metajoke being made about how, if you're going to vote for some guy off a reality TV show, it doesn't matter which one you go for, but somehow, I doubt it.

In happier news, Nicki and Taylor made up their beef. But Nicki wasn't done with Miley:

Minaj thanked her pastor while taking the award for Anaconda, then turned to Cyrus, who was on a nearby stage. “And now back to this bitch that had a lot to say about me the other day in the press – Miley, what’s good?” said Minaj.

Miley was forced to go off script for a moment. Like a pro, she blamed the press:

Cyrus responded to the confrontation, with a brief comment about interview responses being twisted from their intended message. “We’re all in the industry, we all do interviews, and we all know how they manipulate shit,” Cyrus said, before continuing with her script for the night.

Or maybe she didn't, as obviously that was on The Guardian website and you know how the press manipulate shit.

You do wonder, though, why she didn't contact Minaj directly and explain what she really meant when the interview came out, don't you?

In case you've forgotten, there were awards being given out as well, and here's the closest thing to winners in full:

Best Rock Video: Fall Out Boy, "Uma Thurman"

Best Pop Video: Taylor Swift, "Blank Space"

Best Male Video: Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars, "Uptown Funk"

Best Hip-Hop Video: Nicki Minaj, "Anaconda"

Best Female Video: Taylor Swift, "Blank Space"

Best Video With a Social Message: Big Sean featuring Kanye West & John Legend, "One Man Can Change the World"

Song of the Summer: 5 Seconds of Summer, "She's Kinda Hot"

Best Collaboration: Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar, "Bad Blood"

Best Direction: Kendrick Lamar, "Alright" (Colin Tilley & the Little Homies)

Best Choreography: OK Go, "I Won’t Let You Down" (OK Go, air:man and Mori Harano)

Best Cinematography: Flying Lotus feat. Kendrick Lamar, "Never Catch Me" (Larkin Sieple)

Best Art Direction: Snoop Dogg, "So Many Pros" (François Rousselet, Jason Fijal)

Best Editing: Beyoncé, "7/11" (Beyoncé, Ed Burke, Jonathan Wing)

Best Visual Effects: Skrillex and Diplo feat. Justin Bieber, "Where Are U Now" (Brewer, Gloria FX, and Max Chyzhevskyy)

Artist to Watch: Fetty Wap

Video of the Year: Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar, "Bad Blood"

The lights are going out all over the VMAs. We shall not see them lit again in our lifetime.

MTV are still doing the VMAs, which is in itself a weird thing - MTV's target demographic must be puzzled that every so often the 'I Live In An Area Where Republicans Defunded Sex Ed Lessons' marathons are put on hold to celebrate pop videos. I suppose it's no odder than those times ITV suddenly decide to show the Evening Standard Theatre Awards, though.

Anyway, they're doing it again, only this time it's turned into war. Presumably in a bid to get picked up by History Channel next year.

Entertainment Tonight have taped the words 'Press' on their windcheaters, and are reporting from the frontline:

In July, Minaj went on a Twitter rant about how "Anaconda" was snubbed for a Video of the Year nomination at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards, as well as her and Beyonce's song "Feeling Myself."

"If your video celebrates women with very slim bodies, you will be nominated for vid of the year," she tweeted. "If I was a different 'kind' of artist, 'Anaconda' would be nominated for best choreo and vid of the year as well."

She also accused the VMAs of body shaming, posting that "black women influence pop culture so much but are rarely rewarded for it."

There's a lot to unpick there - MTV might point to the number of prizes Beyonce picked up last year, including the Michael Jackson lifetime achievement style award; detractors would nod and suggest that you have to be Beyonce to fight your way into events like that while Miley Cyrus just has to shed some clothes and kiss a powertool or two and gets escorted to the top table.

Miley Cyrus. Talking of whom, she's this year's MTV VMA host, and she's fired back:

Cyrus, who is hosting Sunday's VMAs, tells the New York Times that Minaj went about this all wrong.

"If you want to make it about race, there’s a way you could do that. But don’t make it just about yourself," the 22-year-old singer said. "Say: 'This is the reason why I think it’s important to be nominated. There’s girls everywhere with this body type.'"

Cyrus claims that Minaj lost focus of the issue at hand. "You made it about you. Not to sound like a b**ch, but that’s like, 'Eh, I didn’t get my VMA.'"

I don't think that's entirely fair, but you have to at least admit Cyrus has positioned herself well from a political perspective - in effect, she's totally agreed with Minaj that the people giving her large sums of cash to present an awards show have excluded women from a certain background, but also spun out from it a personal attack which will keep all the prepublicity flowing without risking her job at the podium.

I think that's either cold-hearted capitalism, or consummate professionalism.

Kathleen Hanna is relaxed about pop star feminism

When Taylor Swift, or similar, talks about feminism, it might not be your mother's feminism, or your elder sister's. But is that a problem?

Kathleen Hanna isn't sure that it is:

I remember back in the Nineties being like, “We’re being commodified,” so I understand people being like, “We don’t want feminism to become this fashion that has nothing behind it.” But I’m not really worried about that. When somebody that’s a huge megastar that has so many young fans, like Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus or Beyoncé, comes out and says, “I’m a feminist,” I mean, that’s the sound of hundreds of thousands of girls typing the word into the Internet.

In other words: Taylor Swift Feminism is a gateway. And any entry point is to be welcomed.

Montana life not so great: Miley wasn't happy

It's easy to forget when watching Miley Cyrus trudging through tropes that were probably best left alone just what a horrible childhood she had.

She reminds us in Marie Claire this month:

Covering the September issue of Marie Claire, the former Disney star opened up to the magazine about how she came to question her physical appearance after years of being "told for so long what a girl is supposed to be from being on that show."

"From the time I was 11, it was, 'You're a pop star! That means you have to be blonde, and you have to have long hair, and you have to put on some glittery tight thing,' " she said. "Meanwhile, I'm this fragile little girl playing a 16-year-old in a wig and a ton of makeup. It was like Toddlers & Tiaras. I had f—ing flippers."

I'm presuming here she meant that she had massive tantrums, rather than webbed feet. I think. Although if Disney had decided she should have webbed feet, you can bet that excess skin would have been grafted on pretty swiftly.

Cyrus admitted that she began to develop body-image issues from how she was portrayed falsely on the Disney Channel series, telling the magazine, "I was made to look like someone that I wasn't, which probably caused some body dysmorphia because I had been made pretty every day for so long, and then when I wasn't on that show, it was like, 'Who the f— am I?' "

She added, "When you look at retouched, perfect photos, you feel like shit. They lighten black girls' skin. They smooth out wrinkles. Even when I get stuck on Instagram wondering, 'Why don't I look like that?' it's a total bummer. It's crazy what people have decided we're all supposed to be."

So, having felt this weight, Miley's not going to play along with those rules:

Despite societal pressure, the pop singer told Marie Claire she won't be conforming to traditional beauty standards.

"I'm probably never going to be the face of a traditional beauty company unless they want a weed-smoking, liberal-ass freak," she said. "But my dream was never to sell lip gloss. My dream is to save the world."

Which is both a wonderful sentiment, and also sort-of hard to square with the announcement last week that Cyrus has signed on for a second run of promotional work with Estee Lauder's MAC cosmetics brand.

Justin Meh-bier

http://superpainfulmind.tumblr.com/post/107776755064

With thanks to the lovely people of Tumblr.

Miley Cyrus literally puts make-up on a pig

It would be enough, perhaps, to reproduce the headline and leave it at that:

Miley Cyrus faces backlash for painting pet pig's toenails

Were it not for this:

The animal lovers, who were not happy with the pictures, called the pop star "a pig" for doing that to her pet, while others accused the 'Wrecking Ball' singer of having "deep issues."

If you're a strong believer in animal rights, and don't think it's fair to treat an animal like a fashion doll, couldn't you at least come up with a different animal to use as an angry insult?

"How could you treat a wonderful creature like a pig in that way? You're a terrible creature, like a pig... oh, hang on."

You'll also notice that Cyrus apparently employs someone to do pig manicures on her behalf.

Miley Cyrus' historic struggle struggles with history

Miley Cyrus almost has a point here:

Speaking on Australian TV show Sunday Night, the Wrecking Ball singer said: "Elvis, he wasn't wearing the outfits I was wearing, but he was coming out and he was doing like the OG twerking... Like, no one wants to admit that he was twerking, he was.

"He was like sex. He was a symbol of sex but no one would have ever called Elvis a shit because he wasn't a girl.

Cyrus continued to say that she believes she is helping to empower women in the music industry. She said: "It's that double standard and I think I'm doing something for the double standard."

Well, up to a point. For his time, Presley's gyrations were quite extreme, although I'm not sure 'rubbing your arse in the crotch of a man singing a song about how it's difficult to know when you're actually raping someone' is quite what you'd get if you multiplied Presley's pelvis by the social change of the last sixty years.

Leaving that aside, the very fact that Presley gave an interview to the Charlotte Observer in 1956 addressing how people, erm, attacked him for dancing all sexy on stage disproves Miley's claim:

“When I sang hymns back home with Mom and Pop I stood still and look like you feel when you sing a hymn,” Elvis told the Charlotte Observer in June 1956. “When I sing this rock and roll, my eyes won’t stay open and my legs won’t stand still. I don’t care what they say, it ain’t nasty."

But, oh boy, they called him nasty:

Another Christian condemnation of Elvis appeared in the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel on April 13, 1957. In it a Rhode Island Roman Catholic bishop deplored “youth’s lionization of a ‘pelvic contortionist.’” Without mentioning Elvis’s name, Bishop Russell McVinney of Providence denounced rock ’n’ roll as “a musical fad which is leading its young devotees back to the jungle and animalism.” Referring to the unnamed ‘pelvic contortionist,’ Bishop McVinney stated that, “his stage antics are intended to arouse the lower instincts. Apparently he is succeeding.”

But why would Miley need to try and reach back to the dawn of rock and roll to uncover a double standard? She could, obviously, just point at how Robin Thicke got away with Blurred Lines. Although having shared a stage with him, that might be a more difficult front to open.

Dominican Republic adds 'Miley Cyrus free zone' to nation's many attractions

The Dominican Republic is a compelling destination, with the cable car journey to the top of Isabel de Torres; the artistic haven of Altos de Chavón; and the gorgeous oceans. Now, there's an even better reason to head there: they've banned Miley Cyrus:

The Dominican Republic government commission that oversees public performances is banning a Sept. 13 concert by Miley Cyrus on morality grounds.

The commission said in a statement Thursday that it took the action because Cyrus often "undertakes acts that go against morals and customs, which are punishable by Dominican law."

Part of us would be keen to see Cyrus go there, and take her chances with Dominican customs and morals, but for now, let's just focus on choosing a colour for nations on the map where you don't run the risk of twerking.

Miley Cyrus has apparently done the impossible

The Daily Star makes quite a claim this morning:

Miley Cyrus shocks London's G-A-Y club with revealing outfit and raunchy show

Really, Daily Star? She "shocked" GAY, did she?

First, this is Miley Cyrus. You remember Miley Cyrus? She did the simulated anal sex with Robin Thicke on a televised awards show, and used that as the starting point for the sexualisation of her act.

Second, this is GAY. A place where the acts are seldom clothed, unless you count liquid latex and body paint. Seriously, if the archbishop of Canterbury turned up in stuffed Speedos backed by naked nuns with robo-dildo strap-ons, the audience would head to the bar muttering "well, he IS a man of the cloth so you'd expect something fairly tame, wouldn't you?"

Nobody hearing 'Miley Cyrus playing at GAY' would have turned up expecting a buttoned-up dress and an acoustic performance.

In fact, Cyrus' show is probably only just-about the most outrageous since, ooh, a fortnight back, when Lily Allen turned up as Beyonce-as-performed-by-a-drag-act. Which at least had a bit of thought put into it.

Jonathan Davis wants you to wake up, Sheeple

Can you not see, people? Obama is controlling Miley Cyrus' butt. Jonathan Davis says so:

And what's really going on, according to the Korn singer, is that President Obama is using Miley Cyrus to distract America while be becomes a tyrannical dictator. As evidence, Davis points to January 2012, when Obama signed a law that let the government hold citizens indefinitely without trial while everyone else was reading about Miley Cyrus and a penis cake.

Given that Miley Cyrus is in the newspapers every day, and mostly either waggling her arse, or eating a cake made out of penises, or kissing a animatronic Katy Perry, Obama wouldn't really have to worry about creating a distracting sideshow. There's always going to be one along sooner or later.

On February 17, Jonathan Davis appeared on the conspiracy program "The Alex Jones Show."
He hold the host "It seems really sad that everybody's so asleep and oblivious to the fact that the country uses the media to capture people's attention or take away from the fact that what's going on with our country. It really freaked me out when the whole Miley Cyrus thing was going on, and when that went down, [President] Barack [Obama] passed that new law that he can imprison anyone he wants and he doesn't have to charge them and he can keep them as long as he wants.
So what does Davis think is going on? He explained "Basically, all our liberties are being taken away one by one, and finally, I feel like it's time... I've gotta do something and try and get as many people as we can to wake up and see what's really going on."

Although Obama first signed an NDAA which allowed this to happen in December 2011. Perhaps Davis had been distracted by the Katy Perry/Russell Brand divorce.

Obviously, that would have been arranged by Obama too. Or the people controlling him.

Davis told Jones "I mean, I've said it before. I think he's an illuminati puppet. It just doesn't make sense, the whole thing. The guy comes from out of nowhere, he gets made president, all this stuff starts happening. I don't know... It just didn't make sense to me. And to top top it off, I'm not really a political person, I don't know much about it, I'm just worried about my privacy and my children's privacy. This being America, we're supposed to be the 'land of the free,' and it's becoming a police state."

Except Obama didn't come out of "nowhere". Perhaps if you'd not been so distracted making your terrible music, Jonathan, you'd have spotted him climbing up the ranks.

But hang on... how do we know that Davis isn't PART OF THE CONSPIRACY? What if he's just talking about penis cakes and doing shows about vomit to MISDIRECT US TOTALLY? How do we know that he's not just letting ALEX JONES SECRETLY PULL ALL OF THE STRINGS? HOW? H
Unfortunately, the rest of this post has been lost. If you'd like to read the rest of it, please ring up the Pentagon and say 'I know'. You can use any number to ring the Pentagon; they'll be monitoring them all.

Miley Cyrus is on tour

That she kissed Katy Perry [warning: shit website where videos autoplay] comes as no surprise.

But... bringing on the Flaming Lips and doing Yoshimi twice?

That's perhaps a little more surprising. And probably doing as much to take the shine off the Flaming Lips as her tired 'look at me' Perry kissage undermines bisexuality everywhere.

Miley Cyrus has a request: 'Don't look at my arse'

I think this is an attempt at a rebooty from Miley:

Singer wants audience to focus on her singing not her rear

It's true, Miley Cyrus is much more than just a desperate 'look at me' twerker.

She sometimes sticks her tongues out, too.

Actually, she's just worried she can't waggle her butt and chew gum sing at the same time:

"When it's such a visual show, I'm not going to get up there and dance because I've got to sing live," Cyrus said in an interview Thursday night. "So it's like to have things that people can watch other than me ... not about me trying to keep up with choreography."

Here's the thing, Miley. Most singers tend to entertain the audience with singing. If you're worrying 'what on earth will people watch while I'm doing the singing', you're probably in the wrong business.

This was always going to happen

You knew it would happen sooner or later. It doesn't make it any easier.

Madonna turns up, tries desperately to elbow her way into Miley Cyrus narrative.

Onlookers said "it's just like that time she sucked every last ounce of joy out of Britney Spears."

Miley Cyrus fans commented "who's the old lady? Is she like Alma Cogan or someone?"

Miley Cyrus ruins anniversary; apparently shows how lovely she is

This piece from ContactMusic reeks of a press team rushing a story out to avoid the risk of someone else getting there first:

Miley Cyrus paid for a couple's meal after she disturbed them in a restaurant.
The 'Wrecking Ball' singer was reportedly noisy and caused a scene when she and a friend went into an upmarket eatery in New York, but after a couple complained, she immediately went over to apologise.

A witness explained to the National Enquirer: ''She went over and apologised and told the folks, 'I'm sorry, I've just had too much caffeine today.' Then she asked the couple about themselves.''

The pair were celebrating their second wedding anniversary, so generous Miley left $100 to cover their bill and posed for pictures with them.

Miley may be famous for her risqué outfits and twerking dance moves, but many people are surprised to find she is actually very down-to-earth and polite.

Yeah, because what could be more down-to-earth and polite than ruining someone's wedding anniversary, throwing money at the problem to make it go away and then leaking the story to the papers to show how great you are?

Shirley Manson: Cyrus c'est moi

There's been an interesting contribution to the chatter about Miley Cyrus from Shirley Manson:

Manson said: “I disagree in some ways with how Miley has been castigated. I think it’s a very complex issue.

“But put it this way - when I was starting out with Garbage in the 1990s, I wore see-through dresses, and I used to grab my crotch and my boobs.

“Nobody batted an eyelid at the time. Nobody castigated me. But she has been treated like the antichrist.

“Artists make their own decisions and know there may be repercussions. It is up to them.”

It's tempting to say 'well, it's not quite the same', but there's a chance that what I mean is 'that was okay because I like Garbage'.

Even allowing for that, though, there's surely some differences, not least of which is the sort of image Shirley and Miley had. Sure, Shirley had a strong, sexual image - but would you have seen her doing Robin Thicke's rape song with her ass in his groin? Would you have given much for Thicke's chances if he'd even asked?

There's a risk in assuming that there's just sexual and not-sexual, rather than a range of different motivations, audiences, messages and attitudes and trying to use a binary filter leads you into the sort of on/off switch of David Cameron's porn filter. It's possible to defend Cyrus' right to artistic self-expression while still not being convinced that it is self-expression.

If Cyrus is delivering her own vision, there's surely a strange coincidence in how much that vision looks like it's the next step in a sideboob arms race with Katy Perry and Lady GaGa.

The wisdom or otherwise of Shirley's suggestion that Miley knows what she's doing, and knows the potential repercussions - well, we'll find out if that's the case over the years to come. Let's hope she's right.

MTV EMAs: Amsterdam largely not bothered

Oh, god. Have we only just got as far as the MTV European Music Awards?

Have the really found a way of making what is already a poor burp after the real awards even more fetid? For example, by giving Miley Cyrus another platform to do something outrageous?

What do you think?

Miley Cyrus lit what appeared to be a cannabis joint on stage at the MTV EMAs in Amsterdam last night (11 November).

The singer was accepting her award for best video for Wrecking Ball.

She opened her bag, took out the rolled up cigarette and lit it in front of the crowd.

That is the most disgusting, outrageous thing I have ever heard. Wrecking Ball best video? It wasn't even the best video featuring someone naked on a piece of building equipment.

(That, by the way, would have been Straddlin' My Theodolite by The Hi-Viz Jackets.)

So, Miley did some "drugs". Did the world inhale with shock?

The fans in Amsterdam did not seem to find it offensive.

No, because young tourists turning up in Amsterdam waving spliffs around is pretty much what people from Amsterdam are used to - Miley was doing the equivalent of turning up at a Blackpool gig, licking a boob made from seaside rock and assuming people will be shocked.

Here's the winners in full, in case you're still interested:

Best video - Wrecking Ball, Miley Cyrus
Best UK & Ireland act - One Direction
Global icon award - Eminem
Best song - Locked Out of Heaven, Bruno Mars
Best female - Katy Perry
Best male - Justin Bieber
Best pop - One Direction
Best hip hop - Eminem
Best rock - Green Day
Best alternative - 30 Seconds to Mars
Best live - Beyonce

Nothing Compares 2 Feud: Apparently the O'Connor-Cyrus thing is going to roll on a while

While most of the attention has been on Miliband v Dacre, the musical differences between Miley Cyrus and Sinead O'Connor have been bubbling away no less vociferously.

The latest front in the battle has been Sinead's appearance on The Late Late Show on RTE:

Of Cyrus, she said: "I'm not dismissing the records, they are great records. Miley's records are great records. What I feel is that the industry of music does exploit people who are possibly a little too young to know what they are doing.

"I'm asking whether it's appropriate for 20-year-old women to lick sledgehammers for videos in songs which have no lyrical reference to any such thing in them. It's an exploitation of someone too young to understand the dangers."

This does raise the astonishing possibility that if Miley had included an appropriate lyrical reference, Sinead wouldn't have minded the sequences. "Sure, if there had been a line 'lick my hammer till it drips/swing it hard/tweak my nips', then I'd not have been bothered."

At a stretch, given the song is called Wrecking Ball, under Sinead's apparent rule that pop videos must always be like a giddy version of Catchphrase, with the lyrics depicted on screen, the bit of Miley naked on the demolition tool would be alright.

The real shame about the whole fight? It started when Miley announced she'd taken inspiration from Sinead's Nothing Compares 2U video. (By the way, there's nothing in the lyrics of that song about ramming your face close up into somebody else's and blubbing, so maybe that was wrong, too?

The thing about that, though, is that the Nothing Compares video was hardly original in the first place, given its obvious debt to this:

If Miley had merely said she'd been told she was ripping off Godley and Creme's idea, all this unpleasantness could have been avoided.

Miley Cyrus: something about her performance was choreographed

Here's a surprise. You might want to sit down.

That Miley Cyrus performance at the VMAs? It was intentionally attention grabbing:

‘I just needed to let go of the past in a way, so I felt like I could be the bad b***h I am,’ the 20-year-old said on MTV documentary Miley: The Movement addressing her blinding display with Robin Thicke at the MTV VMAs.

Far from getting carried away, Cyrus instead says she meant every minute of her foam-fingered display.

‘You can watch that performance and think that’s a hot mess,’ she said.

‘But it’s a strategic hot mess. … If I wanted a raunchy sex show, I wouldn’t have been dressed as a damned bear.’

I think even people who haven't heard of Cyrus, or MTV, or possibly even music might raise an objection that no bear dresses like this:

But then Cyrus appears to think we're having trouble keeping up with the masterplan. Even my dead Victorian Great Uncle Hambleton could see that the whole point of Cyrus' performance was to try and flag that she's not Hannah Montana any more.

If Miley thinks she needs a documentary to "reveal" that the idea was to show, erm, that she was a "bad bitch" then you might argue that the performance had failed.

Here's the thing, Miley: if an actor who's just played Lear has to come on stage at the end and go "right, I was pretending I'd gone mad, see?", that would suggest he didn't have much faith in his acting.