T in the wrong park

The Woodland Trust is calling for T in the Park to be moved somewhere where it'll do less damage:

You might remember we recently raised concerns about T in the Park's new venue at the Strathallan Estate. The area is surrounded by old, rich woodland used by many protected species including bats, otters, red squirrels and ospreys.

T in the Park is Scotland’s biggest music festival, attracting 85,000 people every year. The festival brings employment and trade but with so many ancient woodlands under threat in the UK we need to be more mindful of the impact events like this have.

Logistics, noise, light, litter and general disturbance would drive many rare species away from the woodland because the event's main arena would be just metres away.

We know DF Concerts can move the festival away from Strathallan Estate: it was just one of 14 potential venues identified by the council!

We need your help now to make them realise that it is an unsuitable area for an event of T in the Park’s magnitude to be held - the impact on precious wildlife is simply too damaging.

There's a petiton, as you might expect.

Oh, and if you're thinking "well, T in the Park is a responsible sort of event, I'm sure they wouldn't do anything dodgy that would harm wildlife, you're wrong. They're actually arseholes who are deliberately setting out to frighten birds away:

An attempt by T in the Park bosses to discourage ospreys from returning to their nest at the festival's new Strathallan home has been criticised by a leading wildlife charity.

T in the Park promoters DF Concerts are flying a Saltire from on top of a cherry picker festooned with CDs in a bid to deter ospreys from returning to their nest at Strathallan Castle Estate.

Two ospreys have regularly used the nest but its proximity to the main stage at T in the Park means organisers want them to move to a new nest site further away.

Nicki Minaj covers herself with dead things

Not just the coat made from skinned corpses; the boots are animal skins as well. Class act.

Sam Smith: "Don't worry, chums, it's only dolphins being kept in tiny tanks"

Sam Smith has found himself in the middle of a whirlpool after going to SeaWorld in Queensland.

Some of the criticism was, to be fair, misplaced, as people had assumed that he Australian theme park was connected to the American business which keeps orcas in tiny boxes for the entertainment of the paying public.

Sam issued a statement to reassure everyone:

Seaworld Australia and Seaworld America are two very different things. Please remember this guys x

So, that's alright, then, yes?

Well... no.

It's true they're not the same business, but they have the same problem, and simply because the Australian business doesn't have orcas doesn't mean they're alright.

For a start, they keep dolphins in captivity and make them perform for gawking lollygaggers - and that's never an acceptable thing. WDC are unequivocal on this:

Whales and dolphins are highly intelligent animals who want and need to live in complex social groups. In captivity they will usually have been separated from their families, often in cruel hunts and some when they are very young.

Wild whales and dolphins can swim up to 100 miles a day, hunting and playing. In captivity they have very little space and cannot behave naturally. A concrete tank can never replace their ocean home.

Captive whales and dolphins have been trained to perform tricks, day after day, for food as a reward instead of behaving naturally. When not performing, they are often kept in holding tanks smaller than show pools. Confining animals together that may not get on can result in stress and aggression with no possible escape.

Sea World Australia also has polar bears - and ZooCheck isn't impressed with that:

Polar bears have long been known as a species that is especially prone to the development
of abnormal behaviour patterns in captivity. These usually manifest themselves as
stereotypic pacing, head turning and swimming patterns. Stereotypies are prolonged,
repetititve, apparently purposeless behaviours that do not occur in the wild. They are
usually associated with substandard conditions and poor welfare.

Even zoos with the largest budgets have difficulty keeping polar bears free of stereotypic
behaviours. Sea World San Diego has not been able to stop the development of stereotypies in their polar bears despite spending millions of dollars on their polar bear
exhibit. Sea World Gold Coast Australia has had the same experience.

The Calgary Zoo in
Alberta and the Central Park Wildlife Centre in New York have put polar bears on prozac
to reduce abnormal behaviour patterns.

So, yes, Sam Smith. It's a very different thing, except in the ways that matter.

Miley Cyrus literally puts make-up on a pig

It would be enough, perhaps, to reproduce the headline and leave it at that:

Miley Cyrus faces backlash for painting pet pig's toenails

Were it not for this:

The animal lovers, who were not happy with the pictures, called the pop star "a pig" for doing that to her pet, while others accused the 'Wrecking Ball' singer of having "deep issues."

If you're a strong believer in animal rights, and don't think it's fair to treat an animal like a fashion doll, couldn't you at least come up with a different animal to use as an angry insult?

"How could you treat a wonderful creature like a pig in that way? You're a terrible creature, like a pig... oh, hang on."

You'll also notice that Cyrus apparently employs someone to do pig manicures on her behalf.

Shirley Manson wants the pigs to go free

Here's a headline you don't expect to see:

Shirley Manson Urges Wisconsin Church to Cancel Pig Wrestling Event

St. Patrick’s Parish in Stephensville is planning to have a pig "wrestling" competition.

They say it's wrestling. I think when we were kids, we all used the "hey, let's wrestle" line when we were interested in the grappling more than the sport, but the church do seem firm that they're interested in fighting, and not merely trying to find cover to allow themselves to get close contact with pigs in a socially acceptable way.

Joking aside, it's premium asshole behaviour:

“I am so disturbed to learn from my friends at The Humane Society of the United States that St. Patrick’s Parish is planning a contest in which pigs are punched in the face, kicked, body-slammed, jumped on, and thrown into a bucket. Pigs are exceptionally intelligent animals who deserve to be treated with love and care.

“Wisconsin has a special place in my heart since my band Garbage got its start there. We are better than this unnecessary and abusive activity. Please cancel the Roundup Pig Rassle immediately and permanently.”

And what does the church make of this request that perhaps they don't want to punch pigs in the face?

They've gone with the "it's not against the law and we've done it for years" defence:

St. Patrick Parish, located in Stephensville, Wis., will be hosting its 44th Annual Roundup Days this coming weekend. Event activities include Mass, dinner, parade, raffles and a live band. As part of these activities is an event called the Pig Rassle.

Pig wrestling, also known as a rassle or wrasslin', is an event that is held in various places throughout the United States. Individuals or teams are given the task to place a pig at a designated location. The challenge is typically set within a fenced area containing water and mud. The Pig Rassle is not unique to St. Patrick Parish and has taken place for many years at county fairs and other community events.

The Roundup Days have taken place for more than 40 years, and the Pig Rassle has been part of this event for several of those years. Consideration is taken to ensure that the pigs are safe and free from any abuse. After consultation with local authorities, it has been determined that there is no illegality associated with this event. St. Patrick Parish does not condone animal abuse.

Thanks to all who are helping the parish to address this situation. Greatly appreciated.

Yes, that's a Catholic Church who are shrugging and saying 'we're not going to worry about whether something is moral, so long as it's traditional and we won't go to prison.

I can't pretend to understand religion, but your statement on the pig punching party you're throwing does suggest all that's wrong with it.

Not a thought about what's ethical, not a thought about what's kind, not a thought about the right thing to do. Just a ass-covering justification.

And this abandonment of a chance of moral leadership is so they can be cruel to pigs. Hard to believe Catholicism is in decline, isn't it?

What the pop papers say: Glasto clear way for Ted Nugent in 2015

As part of the preview to the Glastonbury festival (or rather its preview of its preview), this week's NME asks a ginger question about how James Hetfield, the bear-slaughtering bastard, is headlining.

Emily [Eavis] refuses to be drawn in.

"I don't really want to get involved with it, in terms of official comments," she says. "Every year we have people campaigning. Last year we had Tyler, The Creator; we had Beyonce anti-fur; we had Jay-Z and guns; we have this. We can't get involved in other people's politics, if we did that we'd rule out most bands in the world."

Glastonbury - which once advertised itself as "the CND festival", which raises funds for campaigning groups Greenpeace and Oxfam - can't "get involved in other people's politics".

Given this willingness to turn a blind eye to people's politics, you wonder if there's anyone Glastonbury would rule out. James Hetfield's NRA buddy Ted Nugent? Will Macht Und Ehre at last get their big chance on The John Peel Stage?

Obviously, Glastonbury has long since ceased to be about a group of people with shared values getting together, but this year feels different again. It's the first time they've ever gone "look, we don't care about what people think, and given we've already done a homophobe we're unlikely to worry about who we give a platform to in the future."

Brian May: Taking guns off the estate

You can throw a lot of things at Brian May - and, periodically, I do - but you can't accuse him of not being prepared to put his money where his mouth is.

According to the Western Morning News, he's considering buying a hunting estate on Exmoor. And turning it into a nature reserve.

It's especially sweet because the estate is in part of the country where DEFRA is keen to carry on killing badgers because, as Owen Paterson told MPs "they might spread TB to cows, or be witches in disguise, or just generally up to something dodgy. Probably it's badgers dumping fridges and what-not in pretty hedgerows."

I'm not sure it makes listening to Fat Bottom Girls on repeat a social good, but... well, watching this video might save a badger's life.*

* - Sounds like the worst telethon ever.

Rihanna does her bit to hustle lorises to extinction

Rihanna has been off in Phuket - presumably to put as much distance between her and that awful River Island range as possible - and managed to wade into a massive screw-up.

She had her picture taken with a loris, gleefully uploading it to Instagram.

It's not as cute as it sounds. The Bangkok Post explains:

Local wildlife advocates have alerted authorities to the picture of Rihanna with the slow loris, which is sometimes illegally used as a photo prop in tourist areas. The Department of National Parks, Wildlife and Plant Conservation (DNWPC) has responded by urging residents to help identify where Rihanna was pictured holding the slow loris.

DNWPC deputy director-general Theerapat Prayurasiddhi yesterday said he would send officials to look into accusations of wildlife abuse if he receives specific information about where animals are being used as photo props.

There are some zoos which have been licenced to use lorises in this way, but even that is a terrible thing to promote - especially when endorsed by an international pop-star, as it all feeds into the horrific loris pet trade which is harming the creatures' chance of survival. Primates Not Pets explains just what a nasty trade Rihanna is helping:

After being snatched from the wild, slow lorises have to suffer a painful procedure to prepare them for their lives as pets. Their teeth are often cut off with nail clippers or pulled out with pliers to prevent the loris from injecting venom into its handlers and future owners. This cruel mutilation can leave the loris suffering from infections, and often results in a slow and painful death.

But their torture doesn’t end there, with the lorises exposed to stressful conditions until they reach their owners. If intended for the international trade, the loris can be transported in overcrowded conditions with poor ventilation. The stress placed on the animals during this transport stage results in a mortality rate of between 30% and 90%. If the lorises remain in their native countries like Indonesia, they are taken to illegal animal markets where they can be exposed to extreme heat.

But, hey, Rihanna. Cute Instagram shot.

Just so we're clear...

Lee Ryan is not a badger:

Yes I changed my picture to a badger. doesn't mean i am one I just feel like I need to show my support against the killing of them.

— Lee Ryan (@LeeRyanMusic) August 31, 2013

Morrissey and the elephants

Some unquestionably positive Morrissey news now, by way of change: His intervention has helped win an inspection to check Manilla Zoo's elephant, Mali, is being kept in conditions befitting.

Morrissey's letter to the President of the Philippines demanding justice for Mali got this response:

Presidential spokesperson Edwin Lacierda said Wednesday, "We share the concerns expressed by animal advocates who have brought up the condition of the resident pachyderm. Rest assured, the responsible agencies will be swiftly implementing the order to ensure the welfare of Mali."

See? Morrissey can be a force for good when he puts his mind to it.

The President, Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III, has warned that if The Smiths ever reform, he'll be making bloody sure that Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce are treated properly.

Avoid the Hard Rock chain

Obviously, nobody goes near the Hard Rock places unless they absolutely have to, but there's even better reason to steer clear. The Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando is apparently catching cats on its property and having them slaughtered. You might want to consider taking your business elsewhere.

Pink horses make Pink see red

The people making Selena Gomez's music video insist that painting horses pink didn't hurt them, after Pink (the person, not the colour) spotted the video being made:

P!nk noticed a pink horse and a purple horse on a So Cal beach .... and twittered, "If there are any animal activists around Malibu- at Leo Cabrillo State Beach, there are horses being painted for a stupid music video. Shame."

The pop star continued, "Artists should be more aware and responsible for their actions."

There's a couple of broader points, though - sure, the horses may not have been mistreated, but when you're making pop videos for children, painting creatures sets a bloody bad example. The kiddywinks will see animals painted bright colours and assume that it's okay to paint animals bright colours, and before you know it Tiddles has got half a pot of gloss over him.

More importantly: she's making a video with bright pink horses in. Isn't there even a hint of a taste bar to doing such things?

Bookmarks - Internet stuff: Juliana Hatfield

Juliana Hatfield takes to the Huffington Post to call for help with stray dogs in Puerto Rico:

Strays are referred to as "satos" in Puerto Rico. "Sato" is a derogatory term for "street dog" and usually refers to mutts. Purebred dogs are generally more highly valued on the island. Many islanders treat the satos as a nuisance, as pests, vermin to be kicked away. Satos are routinely abused -- poisoned, shot, beaten, cut by knives, burned by acid or hot oil or boiling water, deliberately hit by cars -- or simply neglected, left to fend for themselves. And, on their own, they breed; strays are born to strays and the problem literally grows.

Kelis will kill animals with her bare hands if she has to

PETA sent a letter to Kelis, asking her not to wear fur.

Kelis responded like Dappy might:

There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life. With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious. And after doing a very minimal amount of research....... I found out that the founder Ingrid Newkirk is completely batty. I had a feeling but she far exceeded my expectations. I mean certifiably insane! Lol this chicks will is nuts, google it – it’s a riot! Beyond the fact that I think she's a diabetic, which means she needs insulin, which is taken from lab pigs (I know this because my sister happens to be in veterinary school), which would be completely hypocritical. It’s like don't abuse animals unless it can help me.



I feel very strongly about a lot of things such as the sweatshops that spin cotton and the blood on their hands. Btw it’s not just the look of fur. It’s warm as hell and feels glorious, ever rubbed faux fur on your body? Nothing luxurious about that. Then the letter proceeded to name artist and designers who don't wear real fur. Great! More for me! I don't judge them, don't judge me.

If I started wearing endangered animals like polar bear or orangutan then talk to me. (Which btw for the record I would not - I do believe in the preservation of endangered species) But the minks and chinchilla that quite honestly are rodents and if weren't in the form of a coat I would demand they be put to death anyway are not an issue to me.

The death of high fashion. Ugh.

I eat meat, and in fact my mouth salivates as I type the word meat! And the paint throwing that's just ridiculous! What if I was hurling Loubitons and Pierre Hardy's at every sad poorly dressed person on the street? As right as I may be it’s just fanatical and crazy. And people have the right to feel as they please. What about art? Survival of the fittest. Natural selection? No let's just let all the rodents run free and over take our cities. Oh wait they have, NY and LA in particular are infested! Why don't u save them all from scavenging on the streets and ruining my evening strolls, take them home. Make them pets! Get off my back! Pun intended!

Underpaid minorities picking your vegetables, now that's fine for you right? Please, fight for their rights. How about the poverty in the communities of brown people around the world. She had the nerve to say (and I quote) "get over it" talking of the issue of black people and slavery in this country verses cows being slaughtered. Is she kidding me? Lol yes she must be. Actually, she's lucky most black people have real issues to worry about in the U.S and don't give a crap what her delusional privileged opinions are. But she should try saying that again just for kicks n giggles on the corner of Adam Clayton Powell Blvd in Harlem n see how well people "get over it" lol.

If u want to preach do it about something worthwhile don't waste my time trying to save the dang chipmunk.

Find a worthwhile cause like the women being maimed in these Middle Eastern countries. Or female circumcision. Or women's rights here in America, we still get paid less for doing the same jobs as men. Quite honestly if you hate the world so much go live in the forest where no one else has to hear you complain about the perfectly good food chain the good Lord created. Everyone has the right to an opinion, and that's mine on that! xoxo

Kelis - perhaps unsurprisingly - is a little bit confused and all over the place - moral relativism and the question of if a pterodactyl would constitute an endangered species notwithstanding, she seems to believe that if people didn't make them into coats, the country would be overwhelmed with mink.

It's not entirely clear why Kelis thinks that wearing fur has anything much to do with the food chain (perhaps she enjoys a nice mink burger every now and then), and she does appear to be suggesting that she has a God given right to wear fur. And a vet might quibble with the suggestion that there isn't a humane way to kill things. But you've got to admire the decision to engage with PETA on their ill-thought-out, stunt-happy home turf.

I think this means that I'm allowed to knit myself a scarf from any hair Kelis might discard. But it is a bit of a moral grey area.

Crow protects wild horses

As Obama and Salazar try to cut the number of wild horses in the West, they're starting to pick a battle with Sheryl Crow. She wants the horses left alone:

Crow said the romantic symbols of the American West are being sacrificed, in part, because of ranchers' drive for land. She disputed the government's position that booming mustang numbers are threatening the horses with starvation, and harming arid rangelands and native wildlife.

"I think there has to be a better way than taking them away from their native lands," she said by phone from New York. "I feel so passionate about the issue because wild horses are one of the last remaining ties to the land as it was and our history in America."

It's possible that Susan Boyle's recent Rolling Stones cover was part of Crow's campaign, showing how distressing it is when somebody, however well-meaning, takes Wild Horses to a new place.

Queen refuses to be penpals with Pink

Pink has been writing some letters. But not getting anywhere with them:

She told Q magazine: "I wrote to him to protest about fox hunting and I figured he would be this stuffy, privileged a**hole. But he's like a redneck from the south.

"If you're brought up shooting and hunting animals, if you really think it's second nature and you're blasting away then it's hard to see the other point of view. You need educating."

It's nice to show an interest - although, frankly, you might want to concentrate more on the other animals which William legally blasts to death for a laugh.

The Queen? The Queen's no better:

She once penned a letter to William's grandmother Queen Elizabeth about the use of bear skin hats on her guards and was disappointed not to receive a response.

She revealed: "To be truthful I was really surprised I didn't get a reply to that one. I wasn't just writing in and complaining, and it certainly was not a publicity stunt.

"I actually proposed a plan. Stella McCartney had designed theses replacement hats for the guards using fake fur. I felt we were solving the problem for her and offering a viable solution. But she never wrote back. Maybe she doesn't have any of my stuff on her iPod."

Perhaps she doesn't have your stuff on her iPod. Or maybe she got a letter saying "Hey, Stella McCartney has designed some cruelty-free bearskins - wanna see?" and put it quietly to one side.

Ignatieff starts fight with Paul McCartney

As if the idea of the Late Show's Michael Ignatieff becoming leader of the Canadian opposition isn't enough to try and digest, he's now developed a battle with Paul McCartney over wildlife policy.

And, by wildlife policy, Canadians usually mean 'killing seals'. Ignatieff wants to be left alone to club them in peace:

"We look at the culling of deer in Scotland and wolves in Europe by farmers and find it very frustrating to see this reaction to a carefully regulated and managed cull here, which is an economic mainstay of some of the poorest communities in Canada," he said.

"Europe's inability or refusal to see the seal cull for what is smacks of hypocrisy and misunderstanding.

"Paul McCartney, I love your music - but leave the seals to the people who know them. This is not marginal to us, this is very important."

I'd love to think that McCartney is drafting a reply, wondering if "Michael, I love your novels..." would just sound sarcastic.

Mike Batt slaughtering bunnies

"How could a light that burned so brightly" pondered Mike Batt's Bright Eyes "suddenly burn so pale?"

Perhaps because they'd been shot on Mike Batt's orders.

A spokesman for Batt, 59, said the composer felt "terrible" about the shooting of the animals and hoped rabbit lovers would not criticise him.

Good luck with that, Mike.

Peta Shop Boys

Am I misremebering, or does PETA insist on the Pet Shop Boys changing their name once every two or three weeks?

I'm not even sure it makes any sense, either - sure, some pet shops are horrible places; personally, if Neil Tennant turned up at Pet City in Aurora Mall in Denver, set the poor, crushed creatures free and then locked the management in tiny, overheated perspex boxes while inviting the population of Colorado to bash rhythmically on the door for ten hours a day, I would be delighted.

But many pet shops don't sell pets; they only sell things that make pets happy. Catnip and bottles for feeding rabbits and things that delight puppies. Some, indeed, also try to rehouse rescue dogs and cats, to save them from being destroyed - something which might give PetSmart a moral lead over PETA.

Still, PETA are happy that the Pet Shop Boys have elected to not change their name, but have posted a message of support:

“The organisation PETA Europe, dedicated to establishing and protecting the rights of all animals, has written to Pet Shop Boys with a request they are unable to agree to but nonetheless think raises an issue worth thinking about.”

Coming next week: Buttsteak are badgered to change their name retrospectively to Butttofu.

DMX hates on dogs, finds god

Let's be absolutely clear about this: DMX's plans to become a pastor once he's through with jail has nothing whatsoever to do with pretending to be pious to earn parole:

His plan after his release is to move forward with his transition to becoming a pastor. X has long talked about becoming a prominent member of a church. The rapper believes he's been put in his situation to help someone.

"I came here to meet somebody," he said. "I don't know who it is, but I came to tell them that Jesus loves them. To tell them about the glory of God."

Well, not quite, DMX. You came to the prison because you treated animals like chattels and pinched stuff. Unless God's really upped the moving in mysterious ways, of course.