Eurovision 2007: Blow by suck
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LA Police have arrested The Game, apparently on charges of making criminal threats. They spent three hours searching his house before carting him off, which makes you wonder what they were looking for. Perhaps it's like when we make notes before ringing the pizza place to make sure that we get the order right. Maybe they found a piece of paper with 'ring frank - threaten to break legs - ask about children [SINISTER TONE!]' or something on it.
These dates, by Sarah Nixey, have just been confirmed by that process which allows confirmation:
23rd May :: Short acoustic set at The Big Secret, Ginglik, Shepherds Bush. Onstage at 8.30pm.
8th June :: Short acoustic set at Fopp, Tottenham Court Road, London. As part of the City Showcase week focusing on new music and fashion. Free. Onstage at 8pm.
4th July :: Headline electro-pop show with Trademark and Mr Solo as guests. DJing provided by the pop loving Talia. At the Luminaire in, of course, London.
He's promising "photographic evidence" later on, but we take Hal Samples' word for it: David Bowie joined Polyphonic Spree on stage last night during their New York set.
[UPDATE: 07-01-12]
Don't think anything from that appearance ever showed up online, but an earlier hook-up, at Austin, in 2004, has been captured for as-much-posterity-as-RIAA-takedowns-will-allow:
Damon Albarn has served up the worst possible criticism for the Kaiser Chief's new album - he's compared it to a bad Blur record:
Prince's secret gig at Koko - secret in the sense that you weren't ever going to get to go, so forget it - has thrilled the press. Although it's not like he was playing the Camden Falcon, is it?
We're also a little surprised by who's considered a-list these days. RWD magazine were excited, but clearly they can't get out much:
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A couple of weeks ago, Russell T Davies was telling the BBC staff magazine Arial that rumours of Kylie being the special guest for this year's Christmas Doctor Who were wrong:
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There's a lovely quote from Jason Donovan, talking on the radio yesterday, about his wild years:
You'd have thought that a man who signed up to spend twenty four hours with Jamie Campbell for an ITV programme had no standards at all. But it turns out Bobby Brown does have a line he won't cross, after all.
He doesn't hold with any of that gay stuff.
Campbell, it seems, made a remark about putting "sex moves" on Brown. Brown didn't take it well:
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While Blair flies about the country securing his legacy ("yes, yes, but if I wear gloves to cover the stains on my hands... how about then?") and Gordon Brown tries to build one of his own, the business of government trickles on without them. Shaun Woodward, who combines the creative industries ministership with being Barry off of Eastenders, has demanded that eBay stop selling Big Weekend tickets because they were free in the first place:
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Imagine fusing, in some sort of ill-considered crucible, MTV's best-forgotten search for a white rapper with, ooh, say, Celebrity Fame Academy. You'd probably end up with a format where celebrities were formed into teams to rap-off at each other.
MTV, the suckers, would bite your hand off.
Pete Doherty's so-so blood-splattered artworks have turned up on display in London's Bankrobber Gallery (their slogan is also lifted from the Clash, the apt "turning rebellion into money").
The blood is key, apparently:
Do you remember MC Jason Caushun? He was promoted as the first mainstream, out, gay rapper who picked up an award from GLAAD? It turns out he was the creation of Ivan Matias, who's now calling time on a joke that isn't really all that funny.
Matias explains the genesis and six year, six show history of Caushun, and suggests that there was some sort of social conscience at the heart of the project:
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The problem with the identification of the Pink Pound, and the corporate need to try and "target the gay market" is that you wind up with awkward situations like Adam Levine of Maroon Five doing interviews with The Advocate trying to get in touch with the band's gay audience:
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Having worked out they can coast on their laurels for a bit longer ("To allow them time to develop some interesting new ideas"), The Killers have decided they won't even start recording a new album for at least a year. And, if we're lucky, maybe not even then, either. That's what they've told Dave Keuning, anyway:
As if the story of surviving one maniac - Ted Bundy - wasn't enough, now it turns out Debbie Harry also has a tale about coming face-to-face with not convicted of any crime as of this moment gun love Phil Spector:
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In what is a slightly less than fraternal approach to the news, NME.com is denying a story carried by sister magazine website Uncut.co.uk. Uncut reports that Andy Bell is on the point of bringing about a Ride reunion; NME talks to Dave Newton, the band's manager, who suggests it isn't going to happen:
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"Bad celebrity", of course, being the self-excoriating mantra of Frasier following KACL dropping all its speech programming. In that episode, of course, he's embarrassed by his tiny fan club staging a barely-perceptable protest to get him reinstated - the turn out being so low as to do more harm than good.
I don't know why I should think of this as the rally for Paris Hilton in New York manages a turn-out of three people.
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For some reason - we can't assume it's purely to come off as a smug, self-satisfied git - Fergie has sent a letter to her 17 year-old self. Typical of the bloody Post Office, though, it's only just turned up.
Oh, hang on.
Having managed to quietly drop The Sharon Osbourne Show, you'd think ITV would have learned its lesson, wouldn't you?
Apparently not.
Talkback Thames is piloting a Geri Halliwell talkshow.
The production team is talking up the idea:
Apparently, Robbie Williams has taken to blogging. And people accuse bloggers of being self-obsessed narcissists unable to form relationships or string a sentence together. Oh.
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Apparently, Michael "MC" Harvey has turned up in the cast of Daddy Cool, the Boney M "musical". Although he's not really a daddy, and, it turns out, not that good at keeping his cool, either. The Sun reckons he's been given some time off:
We've been trying to replicate this accident under laboratory conditions, and are having some trouble: Leaping up to catch "a falling double bass", Drew McConnell of Babyshambles fell and shattered his arse.
It's always dangerous adding strings on the second album, isn't it?
We're hoping nobody called out to Pete "can you get him some ice for the injury?" because the last thing he needed at that point would have been meth.
McConnell won't be able to sit down for two weeks.
Back in February, John Coles, a helper on Victoria Newton's Bizarre column, had an article in The Sun which attempted to sneak an invasion of Charlotte Church's privacy. The paper had been told that Church was pregnant:
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Following on from Ofcom's ticking off for the X-Factor giving undue prominence to its products, Nokia has taken its ball off home.
ITV are trying not to sound too panicky at the loss of the sponsor:
Who knew that Lily Allen had been saved from a certain thrashing by the intervention of Kate Moss at Glastonbury:
According to Pitchfork, family illness has led to the cancellation of all Explosions In The Sky booked dates, from All Tomorrows Parties this month through to Japanese festivals in July. They're hoping to rebook the standalone dates for Autumn sometime.
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The manager of the cafe where, it's claimed, My Chemical Romance and Muse ate before they fell into gig-cancelling sickness, has apparently been getting death threats:
Interesting scenes at this year's Boston Pops: Keith Lockhart was forced to suspend the Ben Folds performance as half-naked men wrestled in the audience. The Associated Press reports:
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Sting and Mrs. Sting have lost a case brought by their former cook who claimed they'd discriminated against her after she became pregnant. An employment tribunal described the way Sting and his wife treated Jane Martin as "shameful":
Attempts to get themselves a few column inches here and there by making a video with splashes of needless violence in have paid off for The Cribs, with the promo for Mens Needs being reportedly "banned" by MTV2.
Although, actually, it's just being restricted to post-watershed slots, and that's because Ofcom reminded MTV of the terms of its licence. Which isn't exactly the same as being banned.
Thin Lizzy have just announced a slew of tour dates around the UK, apparently unencumbered by their lead singer having drugged himself off to heaven twenty years ago. The part of the irreplaceable Phil Lynott is, of course, irreplaceable, but as they need someone to do the words, they've got a bloke in off the market. Not really, of course: John Sykes is doing vocals.
This isn't unprecedented, of course, as the band regrouped with Sykes on vocals back in 1996, to "mark" the tenth anniversary of Lynott's death and have been popping up, on and off, ever since.
NME.com reports:
Talking to last night's Front Row on BBC Radio 4, Mike Oldfield revealed he wasn't all that thrilled with the record label allowing the Mail On Sunday to give away Tubular Bells for free the other week. That would, of course, be EMI, part of the RIAA, which argues that it prosecutes people for file-sharing because doing so harms the value of the artists it represents.
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No wonder the audience at Blair's timetable-for-departure speech were pleased to see him; they'd been tortured waiting for him to turn up. Radio Five Live had listed the music played to the waiting delegates, and it isn't pretty. In no particular order:
Mambo #5 (Louie Vega)
Beautiful Day (U2 - close personal friends, of course)
Reach For The Stars (yes, S Club)
Lifted (Lighthouse Family)
Missing (Everything But The Girl - presumably in the hope that we'll miss him like the Deserts miss the rain.)
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Kate Nash has just announced a UK tour:
The Great Escape Festival (May 19)
Reading Fez Club (20)
Leeds Cockpit (25)
Bristol Fiddlers (26)
Nottingham Rock City (27)
Birmingham Glee (29)
London ICA (31)
Wakefield Escobar (June 2)
Manchester Late Room (3)
Liverpool The Loft (4)
York Fibbers (5)
Edinburgh Henry's (7)
Aberdeen Tunnels (8)
Dundee Reading Rooms (9)
Glasgow King Tut's (10)
Newcastle Cluny (12)
Exeter Cavern (14)
Cardiff Clwb Ifor Bach (15)
Sheffield Leadmill (July 23)
There's no word yet on if she's going to launch her own clothes line at Tammy Girl.
Or, if you'd prefer, Happy Mondays are taking a battering. They've lined up a gig at the Palace Pier Fish and Chip shop in Brighton. It's going to be a testing ground:
Apparently, Kasabian love their European fans more than their British fans because on the continent, they don't think they're third-rate copyists:
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For a gossip columnist who normally has a "cut and paste from the press release" approach to her work, Victoria Newton is taking a strict line with James Morrison. Morrison cancelled his Melbourne date, with apologies:
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The leaking ship that is the Diana Memorial Concert is starting to look less like a coherent event, more like a mad grouping of anyone who's free that day.
Puff Daddy? Really? Tom Jones? Will Young? Roger Hodgson?
You know, Roger Hodgson. Out of Supertramp.
Apparently, someone's discovered a 1988 quote where Diana said she like Supertramp, and the Sun has rolled out its royal photographer Arthur Edwards - a man who carries on like he has breakfast at Clarence House, dinner at Sandringham and supper at Buck House, rather than merely shoves a camera into the face of any of the inbred unelected he happens across. Edwards has "confirmed" that Diana used to have a Supertramp tape in her car, so that's alright then. The link with Diddy is less clear - not even Arfur can offer any 'evidence' of a link, and presumably nobody is going to try and suggest that had she lived, his music would have been what she was listening to know.
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The unpleasant plans to drug a load of horses up to the eyes to allow The Rolling Stones to play a gig at their home in Belgrade have been dropped, and now the band will, instead, be drugged to keep them quiet.
Or, perhaps, they'll play a different venue in the same city, instead.
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The nominations for the Mojo Awards - careful: not the Mobo Awards - and it's probably fair to say they're quite a mixed bag. Sorry, did we say "awards"? We mean, of course, the Mojo Honours shortlist.
Amy Winehouse has got three nominations, the Arctic Monkeys have two (so far, this could be the Brits, or the NME awards, at a pinch) while The Gossip, the View, Bob Dylan and Midlake shuffle about further down the list. Apparently, as the BBC have only got highlights and Mojo's own site chooses to say how exciting the launch at HMV was without offering a full shortlist.
The BBC does have a quote, though:
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You can't accuse Microsoft of giving up on a bad idea too quickly, so the never-popular Zune is about to become part of an expanded range of unloved music players gathering dust in an unvisited back-of-store display in Best Buys. The new players will have bigger screens, apparently, meaning the horrible navigation tool will be even smaller than on the current model.
Such is the confidence of Microsoft in their music player, they've still not given an official launch date for the product in the UK as far as we can see. The smart money is on them not bothering.
Small (and not-so-small) magazines and record labels in the US are facing another slap in the face, as they try to cope with challenges from the digital world: the American Postal service is axing international surface mail and hiking its rates for mailing media. It's going to hurt, publishers and record companies have told Westword:
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Last FM, which has pretty much sewn up the marketplace for "I am listening to this, which means you'd like this..." widgets online is now adding video to its offering. EMI is already on board, and besides its recommendacious software, and only offering legal content, Last is hoping it will beat out YouTube by promising a much better quality service - audio encoded at 128kbps instead of 64kbps.
Last is setting out to have every video ever made, ever ever ever, on its service, which means that Belouis Some one with all the nudity in it. Which was rude.
On May 5th, 2007, I reported on the deaths of three musicians in an accident on the M25, based upon reports carried in The Times and the Brighton Argus which contained inaccuracies in the bands the deceased played for. As the presence online of this posting was causing continued upset for the family and friends of the deceased, I have decided to remove the posting from the site.
Ofcom have reported back in response to "viewer" complaints that The X Factor - sponsored by Nokia - had blurred out the non-Nokia brand name on Sharon Osbourne's phone during programmes, while showing unblurred close-ups of Nokia phones thirteen times in the same episode. Ofcom have found ITV in breach of the rules covering sponsorship, although they sounded a little vague about what, if anything, they were going to do about it.
N'Sync and Jive Records are being sued for ripping off another act - oddly, though, not New Kids On The Block.
Good lord above alone knows why it's taken six years for Troy Alexander ('Royal T' as nobody calls him) to notice, but he reckons his song Up Against The Wall was virtually the same as the one Jive gave to NYSNC just nine years afterwards. In 2001.
Troy's lawyers appear to admit the songs don't sound alike, and are relying on the lyrics being similar. Which they are, of course, because they're made up of words and have "girl" and "hot" and such like in them. It's clear that Jive aren't going to be unduly worried here.
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Serena Williams has apparently been playing about recording rap music, but reckons she's too shy to pursue a music career alongside her main job playing pat-a-ball. Doubtless any moment now she'll be taking calls from executives keen to discover if a cheque large enough will help her over her embarrassment.
It seems to be almost weekly: some Feist fun on the internet. Today, she's pitched up for a Candaian AOL session.
We're being asked to believe that Britney Spears is distraught that pictures she posed for have appeared in all the newspapers:
Despite Victoria Newton's insistence, there are no high-level talks intended to lead to a Las Vegas style Spice Girls reunion. Mel C says so:
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Amy Winehouse is apparently buzzing that Prince is keen to involve her in his tour of London. She was surprised to discover this was his farewell before giving up for Bible study, though:
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We're always happy to have a pop at Moby when it's called for - which is, obviously, quite often - so it's only fair that we should doff our cap when he does something impressive.
And he just has.
The new version of his website is going to include a corner where independent filmmakers can download music to use, on a soundtrack, for free:
Petula Clark has confessed to her drugs hell. Well, not even drugs purgatory, really, as she seems to have drawn the line at anything stronger than Marlon Brando's exhaled air:
Swastika-loving plodders Kula Shaker clearly have used the money from that car advert to get their instruments out of Cash Converters, as they're threatening a tour of the UK. The trip will form part of the run up to the largely unwanted third album.
It's like a poorly conceived sequel to a patchy horror movie, isn't it?
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Touring about the country next month, Gallows (as the headline sort-of-implied):
Sheffield, Leadmill – June 11
Leeds, Cockpit – 12
Belfast, Auntie Annies – 13
Dublin, Voodoo Lounge – 14
Aberdeen, Tunnels – 16
Newcastle, Academy – 17
Bristol Bar, Academy – 18
Portsmouth, Wedgewood Rooms – 19
London, King’s College – 21
The album's getting a re-release to tie-in.
Dave Mustaine is a man dedicated to controlling his career - he even takes a close interest in what's on his tshirts:
Lily Allen's range of clothes for New Look has now been deployed on the high street - doubtless your office today is full of women, and the odd bloke, wearing something off the shoulder and horribly clashy ("brightly coloured"). Lily, of course, is attempting some false modesty:
We'd have thought that Christian Aguilera might have decided to abandon the Britney Spears playbook by now, but, no, she's still aping her one-time rival, move for move. So it is that the world is preparing itself for Aguilera - the perfume. It's going to be called Simple. Sorry, Simply. And they're clearly pitching it as a gift gormless blokes will buy their for their unfortunate girlfriends:
We know that the first Blur-Oasis chart battle was at least 75% marketing scheme, but at least there were actual hostilities to build the coverage around. More surprising was Jon Wilde's Comment Is Free piece yesterday which predicted a new battle, providing, presumably, a Dunkirk to the Roll With It/Country House Paschendale:
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The art of protest song writing isn't as dead as occasional think pieces in the papers would suggest (these usually assume that back in the 60s you couldn't switch on the TV without seeing Phil Ochs turning up for Top of the Pops), but its nice that the Arts Council is doing something about it.
We're not sure the right thing to do, though, is a competition to encourage protest music with tickets for, and a slot at, Glastonbury as the prize. Because if your motivation to protest is to go to a festival for free, what sort of song are you going to wind up with?
Cause it's 1, 2, 3, 4
What are we fighting for?
Don't know, and I don't give a darn
Next stop is Worthy Farm...
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Say what you like about Prince - possibly including the phrase "although the embrace of bold experimentation is to be applauded, it can make for passages of his live show that drag somewhat" - but you can't knock his pricing policy. While Babs Streisand is straight-facedly charging five hundred quid to see her gigs, £31.21, plus a free album is probably the closest we'll see to a sensibly priced top-deck star live show this year. Of course, it's some sort of mystical number, and had the new album been called 7777777777 instead of 3121 you would have had to sell your house and your mule to buy a ticket, but it's an interesting proof that you can do a big gig, give away a record, charge a flat rate of thirty quid and still make a profit.
Mind you, the booking fee will probably turn out to be £90.
Things are a bit itchy between Russia and Estonia at the moment, with that moving of the bronze soldier commemorating Soviet war dead being just the focus of a long list of grievances between the two nations.
So it probably wasn't wise of Neil Tennant to turn up to play Tallinn and start addressing the crowd in Russian.
Victoria Newton has some fun at Neil's expense, rustling up an outraged fan:
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A very, very long way from its pirate origins: XFM has won a regional FM licence for South Wales. Its bid was guided by an advisory panel chaired by Nicky Wire - curious that someone claiming in the Guardian last week to have rediscovered his punky roots is also doing consultancy work for GCap Media, isn't it?
Apparently, Snoop Dogg is offering to produce My Little Pony singer Celine Dion, as (a) he finds working for his mates less than challenging and (b) since he can't go overseas anymore, he's got some spare time. Dogg says:
The Manhattan DA had offered to cut a deal with the accused-of-a-lot-of-DUI Busta Rhymes. Plead guilty, get a year's sentence, and put it all behind you.
Rhymes has turned down the deal. His lawyer seems to be planning a defence based on Busta being hounded for having refused to help find the man who killed his bodyguard - which might be the case, but, as we've observed more than once: if you believe the police are just looking for any excuse, it's probably not a good idea to get pissed off your pockets and leap into a driving seat.
Birthday congratulations to Ruined Music, which has been collecting stories about songs spoiled forever by association with bad circumstances for a year.
As if she hasn't got enough strings and bows attached with varying degrees of surety, Tori Amos is now trying her hand at writing a musical:
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Annie Lennox - yes, that Annie Lennox - has had her daughter hit by the curse of the email party invite. What was meant to be a quiet affair for Lola while her Dad was away got a bit out of hand after half the viewers of the internet turned up. It's not Annie's problem, of course, as she doesn't live there any more, but that hasn't stopped it being turned into her problem. The Daily Mail takes almost as much delight in detailing the damage as the chuffwads who caused it enjoyed making it:
While Britain waits (or at least pretends to) for Lily Allen "inspired" clothes to go on sale, who knew there was something more annoying than clothes supposedly inspired by music?
How about music inspired by clothes?
Yes, that's what we meant: All American Rejects bloke Tyson Ritter is set to debut a side project, The Gnomans, which is a band inspired by a t-shirt line.
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It's a shame to hear what was, apparently, the oldest listings magazine in the world, Whats On London, has gone down, taking several jobs and freelancer's money with it, but at the same time, there's something astonishing about a magazine which has closed because it simply ran out of paper.
When a member of Primal Scream is advising you to get yourself in hand, you should really take that seriously. Mani is warning Pete Doherty to get it together:
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