What the pop papers say: Ails to the chief

Noel Gallagher's on the cover of the NME this week, which can mean only one thing. (And, yes, it does - Pete Doherty's on the cover next week.)

Noel on the cover; and inside, there's an amusing interview with a grouchy, funny giant of the Manchester music scene.

No, not Noel; Mark E Smith:

I mean, the Arctic Monkeys, come on. They've been to music college [this is not true]. They've got degrees in tock music [this isn't true, either]. I think some of them have got passes in The Fall.
[...]
I get sent magazines with all this advice for new bands... and it's 'Number one, get a decent bank account.' It's like applying to university. There was always privilege in music, but nowadays you don't have a chance in hell."

That's the way you do it. But then Smith doesn't have the problem Gallagher does - he's not trying to square a working class hero image with struggling with paying to send his kids to school; his anecdotes are about Pixies fans trying to take selfies rather than (as Noel does) stories about being on the red carpet at the BAFTAs.

The NME is still calling Noel "the chief"; I'm hoping this is ironic, given his timorous, weak new album - the way men in their 80s who were something in the Raj were still called The Major long after the sun had set on the Empire they once bestrode and the career they once had.

There's six pages of Noel, and Tom Howard gives him an easy ride. Especially when there's a strand of his thinking that's a little disturbing.

First, Gallagher trots through the Ali G defence for sending his kid to private school. We've heard this before, of course:

Good for you that you don't have to go to fucking school and come home talking like fucking Ali G, because, believe me, I would beat that out of you

Let's hope that Noel's using "beat that out of you" as a figure of speech. Let's hope that.

But - as the last time he used 'I don't want my kids to sound like Ali G' justification for swerving the local comprehensive - what does "sounding like Ali G" mean?

It could be that he simply means that he doesn't want his children to sound like working class kids do these days - a strange position for a man who has made his money out of tales of working class upbringing. Suddenly, Gallagher is concerned about "speaking proper", is he?

Or it could be that "talking like Ali G" means "talking like Ali G" - co-opting the speech patterns and slang of young black men?

Later on, Gallagher is talking about his support for the Teenage Cancer Trust - one of the things that reflects really well on him. It's a great cause, and Noel has really gone above and beyond in the work he does for them.

There's a but.

I like it because it's a charity for British kids, and it's real, you know

Not a charity for kids who are unwell; not that they're facing a massive challenge at a time of their lives when they should just be enjoying themselves.

It's a charity for British kids.

As opposed to what, exactly, Noel?

It's not as if Noel hasn't helped charities aiding people cursed with the misfortune to not have been born British on top of their other problems - Oasis were one of the main attractions for War Child, for a start. It makes the phrase even more puzzling.

Like the Ali G remark, it feels less like a racist stance and more a throwback to Victorian charity-begins-at-home Little Englanderism; a faint whiff of the UKIPs that Noel himself would probably be surprised to notice.

Maybe The Chief has more in common with The Major than we'd first expect.

Elsewhere, Laura Snapes watches Sleater-Kinney, deftly linking Carrie's claim that their music is an "obliteration of the sacred" with their presence as "some sort of religious totem".

Emily McKay talks to Kim Deal, making a game attempt to get to the bottom of the Pixies split but deciding it's better to hear about the Breeders than it is to pursue the matter.

You do wonder, though: The Fall, Noel Gallagher; Sleater-Kinney; a Radiohead The Bends feature; Mark E Smith; The Breeders... why on earth are young people not buying the NME? Is it because they're not really much in the NME these days?

One last thing: Between page 52 and page 59, Pete Doherty has morphed in Peter Doherty. Might want to decide on which it is before you lay out next week's cover, guys.

Pete Doherty: Still trying too hard

If you'd hoped that his latest spell in rehab might see Pete Doherty move on from sideshows and stunts, the news isn't encouraging:

"I've come up with some good riffs too," he said during an interview conducted at the centre. "Like simple bass lines and I'm trying to get this warlord's daughter to play drums for me but she's off the radar at the moment. So hopefully we'll have some new ideas when Carl next bounds into view in his bandana and leathers."

Yes. You can't just make a sodding tune, can you; it's got to have a sodding "warlord's daughter" involved, hasn't it?

Pete Doherty: Don't hold the front page

You think, Pete?

Pete Doherty is set to offer us a new album

You'd have hoped that juicing what's left of The Libertines' mystery for cash would have kept Pete Doherty busy enough for the time being, but... oh, no. There's a secret solo album coagulating somewhere. He's told NME all about it:

The album will be titled 'Flags From The Old Regime'. "I've got 10 tunes done now," he says. "There's that one song 'Down For The Outing', which I've had for a while now, but it's incredible - Johann's made it sound like a brand new song."

Doherty also announced that the album has been recorded without his Babyshambles bandmates and instead with "kids around the studio". "There just seems to be a blockade against it, which I don't understand," he says.

He also admits that his record label don't yet know that he is recording the new material. "I don't know what the deal is with EMI Publishing," he says. "I've been told not to tell anyone about the album, but I'm supposed to be someone who writes songs and makes records."

Perhaps EMI is taking part in some sort of set-aside project for musicians, where governments pay the label not to make records with certain artists. You could be putting a large cheque from Brussels at risk, Pete.

Pete Doherty is Alf Roberts

The best running sketch on the last radio series of Mitchell and Webb was the one where old ladies questioned people about their jobs, usually suggesting they'd be better off opening a little shop instead.

It seems Pete Doherty has half-taken this to heart, although his shop is naturally self-obsessed:

British rocker Pete Doherty has set up a shop in London to sell off his personal items and memorabilia from his bands Babyshambles and The Libertines.

In effect: imagine a pile of bags left outside a house when someone moves out. Now imagine if those bags were opened, and price labels stuck on the contents. There you are.

Gordon in the morning: The price of fame

Understandably, Gordon has little time for Pete Doherty's explanation of why he's no longer with Kate Moss:

Pete insisted: “Maybe we could have lasted forever.

“When I met her she was just a girl from south London that I fell in love with. But it wasn’t an easy love.

“In a different world, at a different time – if we hadn’t become famous it might have worked.
“But with all the people around us it just couldn’t. They didn’t want us together.”

Gordon points out that it could also be something to do with him running out on an expensive drug rehab programme that Moss had sprung for.

You've got to love the claim that she was "just a girl from South London". Which is odd, because normally someone who is "just a girl from South London" wouldn't be holding a party in their ten bedroom, grade II listed Cotswold second home, would they?

Rising damp

It turns out that ITV's Vicious isn't the most tragic flatshare sitcom currently in progress. There's this one, too:

Macaulay Culkin has moved in with Pete Doherty.

The 32-year-old actor and the former Libertines rocker first met when they made the ketamine-influenced movie, 'The Wrong Ferrari', together a few years ago and struck up a friendship.

Well, there's nothing there that could possibly go wrong, is there?

Bookmarks: Pete Doherty

100 Books I'll Never Write intends to outlive Pete Doherty. Why?

Pete Doherty is the Private Pike of the Indie Rock Dad’s Army, and allowing him to hold the memorial Keith Richards tommy-gun of pretend drugs is just encouraging his attention-seeking behaviour. I can’t abide the chap.

Besides, even Kaiser Karl would agree with me that it’s hard to take seriously a man whose sartorial style runs the entire gamut from ‘Poundstretcher Blues Brothers Tribute Band’ to ‘Stars In Their Eyes drummer off Chas’n’Dave’ via ‘original Grand-dad from Only Fools And Horses’.

Blanco death: CCTV suggests he was dropped from the balcony

You remember how Pete Doherty told the NME that the police had CCTV evidence which showed Mark Blanco fell "unassisted" from the balcony the night he died?

Newsnight have had forensic experts review the CCTV footage, and their opinion is that someone dropped Mark Blanco over the balcony:

Grant Fredericks, a leading US video forensics analyst who trains FBI agents, says the images of Blanco coming off the balcony are "very consistent with a person being carried and literally dropped over the edge of the balcony".

John Kennedy, who has given video forensics testimony in scores of cases in the UK and overseas, says of Mr Blanco's fall: "There's no defensive movement whatsoever. It's literally a drop from outside the rail.

"The only explanation I can think of is that somebody might have dropped him off the balcony. He doesn't climb over the railing himself. He doesn't jump. He just suddenly appears outside the railing and falls."

The suggestion of no defensive injuries - consistent with unconsciousness - is in line with a bio-mechanics investigation and a neurobiologist's report, both commissioned by Sheila Blanco, Mark Blanco's mother.

We're no closer knowing what really happened, of course.

Pete Doherty's blog still has this claim on it:

WHEN HE [Blanco] LEFT THE FLAT HE Was alone and when he fell or jumped he was alone. THAT is what happened. he either fell or was making an extreme point about the nature of life imitating art.

It doesn't seem to be a story that will simply go away.

Bookmarks: Pete Doherty

Peter Bradshaw has gone to see Pete Doherty's Confession Of A Child Of The Century for The Guardian. You need to read the whole thing, but here's a taste:

It's not exactly like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. It's more like seeing one of those dogs on the TV show That's Life! that could say "sausages". Only instead of saying "sausages", it's saying, "You understand, madam, that I am the greatest libertine in all Paris!" while wearing a top hat.

Pete Doherty still selling stuff

The depressing sight of Pete Doherty selling the memory of Amy Winehouse to the Mail On Sunday is just another grubby episode in a parade of grubby episodes.

But there was a darkly amusing moment in the piece, where it transpires Doherty sees drug rehab the way other people use gym memberships, something you plan to do after a Christmas blow-out:

"It [the Thai rehab] was an unbelievable experience for me. I went through the detox and experienced life clean of drugs. It gave me a vision of how the future should be.
"Unfortunately, I wasn't ready mentally to commit and I ended up coming home. My plan is to finish writing my new solo album and head back there in the New Year. I want to have a proper run at it, scramble over the wall and land in a world of cleanliness."

What's more likely to happen, of course, is that he'll sign up and pay; go a couple of times and just drink the free orange juice, before forgetting where he put the card and making a definite, definite pledge he'll start going more often when the evenings get lighter.

Kate Moss is not a great songwriter after all

Remember when Kate Moss was hanging out with Pete Doherty? Of course you do. What you might have forgotten was at the time Pete was more-or-less in a band called Babyshambles who put out an album. It's more than likely Pete doesn't remember. I suspect he doesn't remember very much about those days.

Kate Moss had a writer's credit on three of the tracks, including for Baddie's Boogie. Mysteriously, though, that credit has subsequently disappeared.

I say "mysteriously". There isn't actually a mystery; turned out a huge chunk of the lyric turns out to be virtually identical to a line from Nick Toczek's Stiff With A Quiff.

It's taken five years, but he's finally got a payment for the infringement from Doherty's team. Chrysalis Music describes this as being settled "amicably" - presumably it was so amicable they dragged it out for five years because they were just enjoying everyone's company so much.

[Thanks to Michael M]

Blanco family, CPS unimpressed by Doherty NME interview

In the NME last week, Pete Doherty made some large claims about the night that Mark Blanco died.

It was a bit odd that the paper didn't attempt to push him a bit - particularly, on the idea that the Met Police has a video which shows Blanco falling to his death which clears him.

It was even more surprising that, having gifted a large chunk of space for Pete to put his case, the NME didn't bother to contact either the Met or the Blanco family to put a counterpoint. You know, in the interests of not looking so desperate for a Doherty exclusive that they'd let him say anything - however incredible - with barely a mutter.

The second part, in this week's paper, doesn't get much better. Doherty sounds off on the various qualities of London against Parisian heroin while "smoking something". When he tells Jamie Fullerton that in Paris, when you score

"it's like China White"

the response is a weak

It's a better class of heroin in Paris?

as if this was a bit with Alex James banging on about cheese.

Once the interview is over, in the epilogue, Fullerton suggests that Doherty's ongoing drug use is "disappointing", which is an odd choice of word for a man who has been brain-twanging all the way through his talk with the paper. Rather an understatement.

Meanwhile, Jamie Doward for The Guardian has been doing the research the NME chose not to, following up Doherty's tale of the night Mark Blanco died.

First, there's a perspective from Blanco's mother:

Blanco's friends and family have attacked the claims as a desperate attempt to rewrite the past. "Mark was a pacifist who would never raise a hand to anyone," said Sheila Blanco, Mark's mother. "Pathetic, tawdry PR stunts such as these strengthen even further my resolve: to secure justice for my son and to expose anyone who has obstructed the protracted investigation into his tragic death."

And then a quick call to the Met about the video which puts Pete into the clear:

The Met has referred questions about Doherty's claims of video footage to the CPS. Last year the CPS said in a statement that "CCTV footage did show several individuals later leaving the same building that Mr Blanco had fallen from and passing his body, but this evidence does not shed any light on how Mr Blanco fell or who, if anyone, may have been responsible".

So, no film, then. Quite an important point for the NME to not mention, surely?

Pete Doherty: The Mail catches up with some reading

Today's Daily Mail has a piece about Pete Doherty sort-of talking about that party where Mark Blanco died:

Troubled rocker Pete Doherty is ashamed of the way he abandoned a dying man at a party, admitting CCTV footage of him fleeing the scene of Mark Blanco's death makes him 'sick to the stomach'.

What's a bit strange is that this is lifted from the NME. The one that came out last Wednesday.

Perhaps they just read very slowly at the Mail. Or maybe they've been so dazzled by Samantha Brick they've only just got round to reading it.

Maybe that's why they only pick up half the story from the NME, too - they lift the bit where Doherty says he feels sick when he sees footage of himself stepping over the body, but not the bit where he insists the Met Police have video of Blanco falling - unaided - to his death. Which surely, if only in the interests of balance, would have been worth mentioning? (Even if you're convinced Doherty was involved in the death, surely his claim that the police have such footage is significant?)

The Mail also seems uninterested in Doherty's words to the NME where he appears to suddenly correct himself:

[Blanco] was out of his mind. So we got him out of the flat, or rather Paul bundled him out of the flat.

To be fair, the NME's Jamie Fullerton also seemed to be unbothered by this; and the paper gives Doherty an incredibly easy ride considering his explanation for stepping over a dead man was he didn't want to get caught with his pockets full of drugs while on bail. But then there's a two-part fawnathon interview to protect, a cover story; why bother challenging Doherty on this?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Babyshambles miss point a little

It's either wishful thinking or desperation which has led to the announcement of a 2012 gig by Pete Doherty vanity horse Babyshambles without, erm, Pete Doherty. It's like the James Last Orchestra booking dates while James Last is unavailable.

It's Charlie Browns in Luton on February 3rd. Presumably they hope Luton won't notice.

Gordon in the morning: The ghost of you stays

Alex Peake has an "exclusive" this morning (that's exclusive as in 'nobody else would touch it with a very long pole'):

JUNKIE rocker Pete Doherty has fled to Paris because he says the ghost of Amy Winehouse is haunting his London flat.

Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. Alex Peake knows what you're thinking. Alex's "source" knows what you're thinking:

"A lot of people will think his visions are probably drug-induced but he claims he is clean."

If that's true, there can only be one explanation: he's angling for a Most Haunted celebrity special.

Pete Doherty: Too drunk to filch

You'll recall the record shop break-in in Germany which featured Pete Doherty? He's not going to face prosecution, as the German authorities have accepted Doherty's claim that he was too drunk to remember what happened.

In fact, the Germans have decided that he was too drunk to be criminally responsible for what he was doing. Is that an actual defence in Germany? How do people get pulled up for being drunk and disorderly, then? Wouldn't it encourage people who are a bit drunk to get really drunk to cover themselves in case they do something stupid on the way home?

Still: another bloody lucky break for Doherty. He lives to do something incredibly stupid another day.

Libertines re-coagulate, claims Mirror

It depends how much credence you put in an exclusive credited to a "music industry source", but it looks like The Libertines might be about to try theirs and their fan's patience once again.

A music industry source reveals: “Pete and Carl really enjoyed reforming the band last year for the Reading and Leeds festivals. Now Pete’s out of prison and trying to stay clean, getting the band back together is his main priority.

“Fortunately Carl is open to the idea of touring and getting back to what they were famous for. So long as Pete is relatively on the straight and ­narrow, the world is their oyster.”

I'm not sure "a desperate bid to cash-in on dwindling affection due to the failure of any attempts to build an audience doing something else" is quite what they're famous for. Yet, anyway.

Bookmarks - Internet stuff: Pete Doherty

In case you've not seen it yet, there's a strong piece in today's Observer which removes what leaves of any sheen on Pete Doherty's character. Former friend, producer and collaborator Jake Fior explains what it's like to be in Doherty's orbit:

On Sunday 24 January 2010, [Robin Whitehead] died from a suspected drug overdose in the Hackney flat where she had been filming Doherty and his friend, another musician, Pete Wolfe, whom Fior had previously managed. Last month, Doherty was sentenced to six months in prison for possession of class A drugs, and Wolfe 12 months, for possession and supply of class A drugs, a conviction secured by damning evidence filmed by Whitehead on the weekend of her death. It is Doherty's third prison sentence since 2003, and follows multiple fines, court appearances, spells in rehab and broken promises to clean up his act. "The media are calling this a tragedy," says Fior, speaking before the pair received their sentence. "But for a brilliant, beautiful, vibrant 27-year-old girl to have gone into that flat and not come out, it is not a tragedy, it's an obscenity."

Glasgow, you'll have to get by without Pete Doherty this evening

Pete Doherty is back inside after pleading guilty to cocaine possession. But on the not-especially bright side, at least he didn't kill Robin Whitehead. The BBC reports:

Judge David Radford said Doherty had given Ms Whitehead crack cocaine but it was not the cause of her death.

He said: "Police became aware of the relevant evidence because of the investigation which followed the discovery of the sad death of a young woman who had been present at the address where the offences had been committed.

"The offences involved the social supply of crack cocaine in a crack cocaine pipe, which you handed to that person.

"I make it clear though, abundantly clear, that the young woman's death was not caused by that supply of crack cocaine."

Doherty got a six month sentence. His defence lawyer tried to keep him out of jail by arguing that locking Doherty up would cause him to let people down. As if that would somehow be out of character for him.