Gordon in the morning: The ghost of a chance

To be fair, Gordon's not connected with the front page of the Sun today; it's down to Pete Samson, currently US editor of the - shall we call it - publication?.

You've probably already seen this, as the world has been convulsing with laughter at the final demise of the Sun as a newspaper since the first edition came out:

Yes, that's right. The Sun's big front page splash comes from a ghost.

And not just a ghost, but a ghost addressing a court via the medium of a former partner of Lionel Ritchie:

MICHAEL Jackson’s death has been declared an accident — by his own GHOST, a court heard.
Jacko, 50, was said to have told Lionel Richie’s ex Brenda that he inadvertently killed himself.

Being even-handed, the ghost of Larry Lamb has been in contact with us (via someone who once had their breasts brushed by Mark Morrison) to point out that it's not as if Pete Samson is claiming that he's had an interview with the moonwalking spectre, and in effect this is simply court reporting.

It's probable that the idea was to have a bit of a guffaw at the very idea that the CEO of AEG, Randy Philips, would trot this guff out under oath:

AEG Live CEO Randy Phillips stunned the wrongful death trial by claiming Jacko had insisted from beyond the grave that his death was an accident — and cleared Dr Murray.

He told jurors at Los Angeles County Superior Court: “Brenda called me to tell me that she was in communications with Michael, either through a medium or directly.

“She said Michael told her it wasn’t Dr Murray’s fault — that he had accidentally killed himself.”

Many in the court burst into laughter, but judge Yvette Palazuelos let the testimony STAND.

It's not clear why this testimony would have stood - it's not even second hand. And it comes from a ghost.

Unfortunately for Samson, his piece has been overpromoted to the front page and presented in such a way that makes it look like the paper believes Jackson's ghost is sending messages from beyond the grave.

And given the low-attention culture which The Sun has done a good part to foster, most people will go away with that impression, too.

Shane McGowan gets some help

The Quietus has a brilliant interview with Shane McGowan; one of the highlights is McGown revealing his unexpected collaborators. The dead:

"I actually see people dictating to me behind me through… they call it the third eye, but the Japs reckon you've got at least eight, apart from the two here. I've seen ghosts behind me in period costume dictating songs on a couple of occasions. 'A Rainy Night In Soho' was automatic writing. I had no idea what it was about. I had a vague idea by the time I got to the fourth verse but until then I hadn't got a clue what was going on."

("The Japs"? Really, Shane?)

It's not entirely unlikely that ghosts would want to work with Shane - if you died years ago, had no body to talk of and some people find your continued existence a befuddling scientific impossibility, wouldn't you look for someone similar to work with?

Gordon in the morning: The ghost of you stays

Alex Peake has an "exclusive" this morning (that's exclusive as in 'nobody else would touch it with a very long pole'):

JUNKIE rocker Pete Doherty has fled to Paris because he says the ghost of Amy Winehouse is haunting his London flat.

Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. Alex Peake knows what you're thinking. Alex's "source" knows what you're thinking:

"A lot of people will think his visions are probably drug-induced but he claims he is clean."

If that's true, there can only be one explanation: he's angling for a Most Haunted celebrity special.

There's a ghost in Sting's house

As if being dead wasn't bad enough, imagine if you found your underlife consisted of looking at Sting's pyjamas:

"I would never have said I believe in ghosts, until I saw one - and I've seen a ghost with my own eyes. I woke up at three in the morning, bolt upright, looked into the corner of the room and thought I saw Trudie standing there with a child - our child - in her arms, staring at me.

"And I thought, 'Well, that's strange - why is she standing in a corner, staring at me?'. And I then reached next to me and there was Trudie, and I suddenly got this terrible chill. And she woke up and said 'Gosh, who is that?' and she saw this woman and a child in the corner of the room. A lot of things happened in that house, a lot of flying objects and voices and strange, strange things happened.

"When you live in old houses you get this energy there. Intellectually, no I don't believe in them (ghosts), but I've experienced them on an emotional level."

It's believed that Sting had the house exorcised immediately - they won't stand for their staff having children, so it's not like they're going tolerate their ghosts having childcare issues.

Jackson: worse than the worst Location, Location, Location

Apparently Michael Jackson has decided he's not going to stay in his original mansion of choice (or second mansion, if you believe Gordon Smart) because it might scare his children:

WORRIED Michael Jackson has pulled out of renting a 28-bedroom mansion during his UK summer tour - because it is said to be haunted.

Jacko, 50, said he doesn't want ghosts frightening his children. He also feared 18th-century Foxbury Manor at Chislehurst, Kent, could not be made secure. He was about to pay a £1 million deposit for an an eight-month stay when he was shown a video made by aides and ruled it out.

Although the News Of The World might be headlining the 'ghost' angle, you'd have to suspect that it might be more the "cannot be made secure" aspect of the house that was the real deal-breaker here. (That, and "it's quite close to the main road, Kirstie...") Probably having every newspaper in the UK know where he was staying didn't help, either.

He is now looking at a mansion 15 miles away at Sevenoaks which is monitored by CCTV and guards and has no history of the paranormal.

Or at least, doesn't, until Jackson turns up, dragging his unquiet soul with him.

At this rate, he's going to end up in the Canterbury Travelodge.