The tide wasn't as strong as Jay-Z was told

Oh, poor Jay-Z. He's currently threatening to sue the people who sold him Tidal, as it turns out that he might not have been buying quite what he expected:

"It became clear after taking control of TIDAL and conducting our own audit that the total number of subscribers was actually well below the 540,000 reported to us by the prior owners," Tidal said in a statement sent to Variety. "As a result, we have now served legal notice to parties involved in the sale."

Norwegian press reports relayed by Music Business Worldwide estimate that Tidal wants about $15 million back; the company declined to comment on these specifics.

There may be, at the heart of this, an attempt to make the weak figures they've managed so far (about three million subscribers) seem a little better if it's coming from a lower starting point.

Just a little better, though.

Spotify sued for "incalculable" damages

Spotify's admission just before Christmas that some of the data it uses to assign royalties is a bit broken could end up being costly. Former Camper Van Beethoven and perpetual thorn in Spotify's side David Lowery has just filed a class action lawsuit against the company, claiming copyright theft:

“Spotify has — and continues to — unlawfully reproduce and/or distribute copyrighted musical compositions … to more than 75 million users via its interactive commercial music streaming service,” the lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in the Central District of California, read. ” … Indeed, Spotify has publicly admitted its failures to obtain licenses for the musical works it distributes or reproduces or to pay royalties to copyright owners for its use of their Works.”

The initial suggestion is USD150million in damages, but the lawsuit suggests the final figure might be "incalculable".

"I never touched her bottom" claims ex-radio host

Over two years ago, a breakfast show host on Denver's KYGO was accused of touching Taylor Swift's bottom, and was dumped from his job.

Now, just twenty seven short months later, David Mueller - known professionally as Jackson before the incident, and 'that guy fired for touching Swift's arse' afterwards - has filed a lawsuit.

The crux of his case is that it was a case of mistaken identity:

According to the suit, Mueller posed with Swift and his girlfriend, Shannon Melcher.

After some small talk, "Swift suddenly announced it was picture time" and "quickly put her right arm" around Melcher. Mueller jumped into the photo "at the last second."

Swift cordially thanked the couple and they left, the suit said.

After the photograph, Mueller, in the suit, said he met a co-worker who "excitedly told him about his experience meeting Ms. Swift earlier that night."

The co-worker "described and demonstrated how he had put his arms around her, hands on her bottom," according to the filing.

The lawsuit also makes reference to his lifetime ban from Taylor Swift concerts, but it's unclear from reports if he is seeking to have this overturned.

High Court has just turned your iPhone into a crime scene

Remember when back in 2014 the government realised that having a law against people ripping their own CDs to put on digital players was absurd, and tidied up the law?

The High Court has reversed that change, and believes that if you own a CD and wish to listen to the music on your iPhone, you will meekly go online and pay for the thing all over again:

The ruling says that governments can't make exceptions to copyright law without compensating rightsholders for the "harms" from the changes; because the UK government didn't demonstrate that ripping CDs doesn't cause harm to rightsholders, and because it didn't impose a levy to compensate for "harms," the legalisation of ripping (which, incredibly, only took place in the last Parliament) is now invalid.

Yes, lawyers from the Music Industry have convinced judges that when Person A slips Now That's What I Call Music 56 into their drive, if they weren't doing that, they'd be somehow buying the tracks instead.

Obviously, it's a stupid decision, made by a legal system that has apparently never met a person, but it's also a ruling that will be completely ignored. It's not as if prior to 2014 people looked at their pile of CDs, looked at their iPod, and thought "well, if only the law recognised that I own the music and the only distinction is whether the digital playback is instantaneous or later, I could pop those on my device."

And it's probably for the best that the world will ignore this rule - the police force has been so hollowed out under Theresa May's rule that they can barely manage to turn up to a crime in progress, much less pop round on the rumour that someone has put their Clean Bandit single on their Galaxy G4, so it's going to make scofflaws of most of us.

But if the law was applied, the logical behaviour would be to say 'if I have to pay twice, well, screw that. The more flexible choice is to go with digital, so I shall stop buying CDs altogether, and instead go with cheaper digital versions. But hang on, as I'm not buying a physical album I only need to buy the two tracks I really want. Actually, come to that, why am I going to buy anything? I can just use my Spotify account if all I want to do is listen digitally."

Effectively, the big brains of the Music Industry have gone to court to argue that the added value of their premium product be outlawed. Maybe the judges aren't so out of touch - perhaps they've just come up with a smart way to fine an industry for its vexatious lawsuit.

Jennifer Lopez could be going to prison (but won't)

After doing her usual thing in Morocco, Jennifer Lopez could be thrown in prison [horrible autoplay video site]:

Lopez faces a lawsuit because of her suggestive stage moves and the apparel she wore during her May 29 concert at the Mawazine Festival. The performance was in front of 160,000 and broadcast on public television.
[...]
Lopez and the show's promoter are being sued. If she is found guilty, the singer faces one month to one year in prison, according to TMZ.

Obviously, she won't be going to prison.

It's a simple enough story, but one that some readers of ABC Action News struggle with. Below the line:

Mushmouseydi Roberts
Smh, don't perform in places that don't appreciate the music .

The one thing they don't seem to be complaining about, Mushmouseydi, is the music. The music, they were happy with. They liked Jenny From The Block. It was just the frocks they had a problem with.

A Courtney Love lawsuit

There was a time not so very long ago when you'd barely get through a week without hearing of Courtney Love being in some sort of legal skirmish.

More recently, there's been no need for the permanent lawyers parking slot outside her home. Which makes today's lawsuit against Love sound like some sort of revival event.

Writer Anthony Bozza has brought an action claiming that he's been unpaid for work on Love's yet-to-be-published "auto"biography:

In the suit, Bozza states that his collaboration agreement with Love guaranteed him a minimum of $200,000 from advances Love received, as well as his expenses, regardless of whether the book came out. Bozza says he has spent around $10,000 on getting his interviews with Love transcribed, an expense he claims she has not reimbursed. Furthermore, he would receive royalties up to a maximum of $300,000. So far, Love has paid Bozza only $100,000, he claims, despite already receiving $400,000 of a $1.2 million publishing advance.

Ten grand might sound like a lot for transcription services, but let's not forget that Love can ramble when she gets going.

Family at GWAR

Some unpleasant business over at GWAR, where the surviving band members are being sued by Dave Brockie's family:

"Immediately after Dave Brockie's death, the remaining active members of GWAR, led by [drummer] Brad Roberts [a.k.a. Jizmak Da Gusha], set out on a course of action to capitalize on the death of Dave Brockie.

"Mr. Roberts and-his cohorts took certain steps to attempt to wrongfully secure Dave Brockie's property and legacy — items that rightfully belonged to his Estate."

The family claim that Brad Roberts tried to seize control of the estate; they suggest that much of Brockie's art and property has been kept by the band. Oh, and Brockie's ashes:

"To date, Mr. Roberts and Slave Pit, Inc. have retained the vast majority of Dave Brockie's remains and failed to return the ashes of Dave Brockie to his grieving father.

There's a further claim of an unauthorised memorial fund.

No official response yet, apparently.

Blurred credit lines

I suppose that's going to have wiped the Happy off Pharrell Williams' face, as a US court rule he and Robin Thicke ripped off Marvin Gaye.

A jury decided that the music in rohyp-hop hit Blurred Lines was lifted from Gaye, and ordered a payment of nearly five million quid in damages to go to Gaye's estate.

Presumably, Gaye's family will spend most of this money on legal fees trying to get his name taken off the credits again.

Because that's not much of a victory, is it? Sure, you've got the proof that you were plagiarised, but now that crappy song is going to carry a credit that Marvin Gaye helped write it.

It's like you've broken into your the office your boss uses, and done a massive anonymous poo in the middle of their desk. But then discover that Molly from accounts is saying that she did it. You'd feel obligated to put everyone right, no matter how much you don't really want to be associated with the still-steaming turd. It might be an unpleasant pile of stinky old cack, but you'd be damned if someone else is going to pass it off as their work.

There's the potential for more problems for Thicke and Williams, as now the question of who wrote the music has been settled, they're at risk of being sued by the Friends Of Roman Polanski for lifting the lyrics from them.

TMZ cast their eyes at the courtroom

Kanye West is currently being sued by a photographer, and of course, TMZ are all over it.

They're especially interested in a battle over whether the photographer's previous run-in with Britney Spears can be raised in court:

Kanye West has no right to tell a jury the photog who's suing him is the very same guy who Britney Spears famously attacked with an umbrella ... at least that's what the photog is banking on.

Daniel Ramos is suing Kanye for the 2013 LAX attack. Kanye pled no contest to misdemeanor battery, but now Ramos is suing him.

Kanye wants to prove to the jury Ramos is a bad guy ... not only because of the 2007 umbrella incident, but also because he was so gross he tried selling the umbrella and the truck she struck.

Two things: first, you've got to love TMZ considering the possibility of a thing being kept from a jury while detailing exactly what that thing is.

Second: TMZ complaining that someone tried to make money out of a run-in with a celebrity while calling long-lens fame-gawpers "gross"? Clearly, TMZ is now being produced in a room without any mirrors at all.

The beautiful cap on this? The last words of the piece:

It's kinda like having your cake ...

Yes, TMZ. Fancy trying to hold two different positions at once.

SXSW: Not that America's overly litigious or anything

The death of a person you love because of a drunk driver is a terrible thing. And it's one of those rare occasions when it's easy to apportion blame - the person who got wasted and drove a car into a crowd, right?

Apparently not.

The family of one of the victims of the drunk driver at SXSW is suing, erm, the festival organisers for not making their festival dickwad-in-a-car proof:

Among several wrongful deaths lawsuits was one by the family of Steven Craenmehr, a Dutch music executive who was riding a bike when struck. His widow and mother allege that SXSW organizers skimped on traffic safeguards while packing people downtown to hear more than 2,000 bands.

"A festival organizer or traffic design consultant of ordinary intelligence would have anticipated the danger," the lawsuit says.

Oh, yeah, they're also suing the City Of Austin for not making its streets able to cope with tanked-up drivers.

The courts, naturally, will decide on the validity of this case, but... seriously? Somehow SXSW and the City Of Austin has to wrap the event in so much bubblewrap and prophylactic that they should be able to guarantee that nothing bad will happen there ever?

To lose a relative in awful circumstances is unimaginably horrible. Spitting out a bunch of lawsuits at anyone who happened to be vaguely connected to the death doesn't do much by way of legacy, though.

Bo Bruce nearly subject of awkward stories in the papers, says awkward story in the paper

Bo Bruce, who didn't win The Voice in 2012 and has been living up to that standard since, glimpsed back into the public eye this week as her posh-but-broke father continues to drag his family through the ringer:

The Earl of Cardigan threatened to make up "dirt" about his estranged daughter, The Voice singer Bo Bruce.

The aristocrat emailed Ms Bruce saying he was considering inventing damaging stories about her and sending them to the newspapers, the High Court heard yesterday.
[...]
In April 2012 Ms Bruce - who was a finalist on the BBC talent show in 2012 - was described as "the little scorpion that I have as a daughter" in an email from her father.

In a reference to newspaper articles about her, asked whether he should "invent some untrue tasty dirt" about her or alternatively could "say nice things".

The Earl has been fighting the trustees of his Estate for ages, and this charming episode was part of that.

It's unconfirmed that he also spent a lot of time standing round in shopping centres and public houses saying loudly "that Leanne Mitchell is good, isn't she? I'd definitely vote for her on The Voice, I would, and I'd be ashamed of myself if I voted for anyone else."

The backing singer suing Beyonce isn't the key bit of the story

Javon, a backing singer, claims in a lawsuit that Beyonce pinched XO off him. Not directly, apparently, Javon gave the song to someone else (apparently the third party was backing someone else with Javon, and then went on to back up Beyonce.)

That's not really interesting. Nor is the idea that Javon thinks he's reached the sort of status where he only needs one name.

What's shocking is this bit:

Javon is asking for millions in damages from Knowles in the handwritten complaint that he filed in New York without a lawyer. The judge granted him “pauper” status — which waives his court fees — because he said he makes just $2,800 a month working for Carnival Cruise Lines.

That's what's scandalous here. Not that Beyonce may or may not have stolen a song, but that pay on Carnival Cruise Lines is so crappy their staff are officially classed as paupers.

Carnival Cruise Lines pay their people so poorly, judges waive their court costs.

Javon, you're directing your anger at the wrong person.

Anita Baker: How debts mount up

Earlier this year, a Detroit company claimed that Anita Baker owed it USD15,000 in unpaid home improvement work bills.

A lawyer, Jamal Hamood, stepped forward to defend Baker's good name.

He's now suing her for USD150,000, claiming unpaid bills.

I'm not sure she'd be able to afford to defend herself here, as it appears that intervention just increases the bill tenfold.

Don't let them get me

Strange times in Suffolk County, New York, where drumming attorney Charles Bonfante III is suing Collette McLafferty for doing a Pink cover act that he wasn't drumming for:

McLafferty is named in the suit, filed in Suffolk County, N.Y., along with bandmates Rik Nevone and John Rodriguez, for performing with their band, Funhouse (named for Pink's fifth album). The suit was filed by drummer/attorney Charles Bonfante III. In the suit, Bonfante, who did not return a request for comment, goes after McLafferty's looks, saying in the suit, "She didn't look the part, or at least contribute to the overall aesthetics of the band," an angle played up by the New York Post in their coverage.

"The Post and everyone is playing the angle that she's too old and ugly to sing, but it's really about stealing [Bonfante's] idea. But he has no right to his idea. Only Pink does," said Martin Kera, McLafferty's attorney, calling Bonfante "insane." ("Who writes a 112-page complaint?")

You'd also suggest that "being in a lookalikey covers band" isn't an original idea; and that, given Faux Pink were going in 2009, even being a Pink tribute act isn't much of an original idea.

Oh, and the lawsuit?

He's looking for ten million dollars. There's barely that much cash in being actual Pink.

Ne-Yo has lost some money

Ne-Yo apparently had millions of dollars snaffled from him by his manager, according to a lawsuit he's just filed.

What's surprising is that the manager - Kevin Foster - appears, based on these figures, to have allegedly embezzled littleless than he was paid:

The lawsuit says Foster moved some of Ne-Yo's money without permission. It also alleges that Foster faked Ne-Yo's name on loan documents and invested Ne-Yo's money in a water company that was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy.

The lawsuit seeks $4.5 million plus $3.5 million in fees that Ne-Yo, 34, says he paid Foster.

Ne-Yo, if someone is charging you millions and millions in fees, while also finding time to run a leaky water company, you're being ripped off, even if you're not being ripped off.

Washington and Qantas settle

Remember almost a year ago Megan Washington got upset when Qantas posted video of her singing a song praising the company?

The case she bought has been settled, although the terms of the agreement aren't being revealed. So it could be anything from an extra bread roll with an in-flight meal, to two tickets between Brisbane and Adelaide.

Humperdinck pursued by the Palace

Albany's Palace Theater has issued proceedings against Engelbert Humperdinck, claiming he failed to show for a show:

Humperdinck was scheduled to perform at the Palace on June 29, 2011. The theater provided him with a $20,000 deposit, spent nearly $10,000 on advertising and $632 for transportation. Also, 668 tickets were sold for a total of $31,549.

The Palace, represented by Hinckley, Allen & Snyder, is looking to be reimbursed for a list of costs totaling more than $70,000, including the $20,000 deposit, advertising expenses, transportation funding, ticket sales and attorney fees.

You can understand the Palace being upset - although it sort-of looks like the event was going to be a financial hit anyway.

And given what happened when Engelbert does show up - like in Baku, in 2012 - you might consider they had something of a narrow escape.

Allman now co-defendant with film company he's suing

There's a new, grim twist to the ill-fated Greg Allman movie. You'll recall that cameraperson Sarah Jones was killed in an accident during filming by a railway line, leading Allman to launch a lawsuit to take back the rights to his life story.

Now, Sarah Jones' parents are launching a scattergun lawsuit which includes Allman amongst those being sued. (Somewhat oddly, they're also suing the railroad, while admitting that the railroad never gave permission for any filming to take place. The descendants of Robert Louis Stevenson should expect a writ soon, on that basis.)

Greg Allman wants his life back

They're making a film about Greg Allman. Or maybe they're not.

Things are going grimly - during a first shoot, the crew were hit by a train, killing camera assistant Sarah Jones and injuring six others. Making it worse, the railroad claim the movie company, Unclaimed Freight, hadn't sought permission to film on its property.

Shortly after this, William Hurt - who had signed on to play Allman - quit the project.

Greg Allman now wants to stop the film altogether. He's suing to get the rights back. ABC explains:

Allman's attorneys say "Midnight Rider" producers lost their rights to the singer's life story when they failed to start principal photography by Feb. 28 and came up $9,000 short of an unspecified sum they had agreed to pay Allman for those film rights. The lawsuit says both those conditions were spelled out in Allman's contract with Unclaimed Freight.

The producers are keeping quite, but apparently believe the footage they got before people died counts as principal photography, and intend to plough on with the film.

Because there's nothing like a film based on an autobiography where the subject doesn't want you to make it, is there?

Smashed in the face by Britney Spears

Poor Dawn Noel. She was a dancer for Britney's Work Bitch video, but it didn't work out. She claims that Britney's poor sense of rhythm led to her getting injured and, this being America, she's suing:

Spears proved to have a challenging time getting the dance moves and at one point reportedly twirled around while off balance. At that point, Noel, who stood beside the award-winning singer, got hit in the face hard.

The impact of Spears' hand hitting Noel's face was supposedly so loud that everyone in the room heard a cracking sound.

It's been quite a while since anyone at a Britney recording reported having heard cracking sounds, isn't it?

Apparently, Noel was promised she'd have her medical expenses repaid, but so far: nothing. Hence, the call to lawyers.