He wasn't called Olly Worse, either

Just returned from Milton Keynes Theatre District where, as part of the switching on of the Christmas Lights, they had an Olly Murs tribute act.

Odd, though, I found myself thinking. He doesn't look much like Olly Murs. In fact, he could just be any old bloke who has got up out the crowd to sing a few songs with warmth more than talent.

In other words: it was one of the most accurate tribute acts I've ever seen.

Don't let them get me

Strange times in Suffolk County, New York, where drumming attorney Charles Bonfante III is suing Collette McLafferty for doing a Pink cover act that he wasn't drumming for:

McLafferty is named in the suit, filed in Suffolk County, N.Y., along with bandmates Rik Nevone and John Rodriguez, for performing with their band, Funhouse (named for Pink's fifth album). The suit was filed by drummer/attorney Charles Bonfante III. In the suit, Bonfante, who did not return a request for comment, goes after McLafferty's looks, saying in the suit, "She didn't look the part, or at least contribute to the overall aesthetics of the band," an angle played up by the New York Post in their coverage.

"The Post and everyone is playing the angle that she's too old and ugly to sing, but it's really about stealing [Bonfante's] idea. But he has no right to his idea. Only Pink does," said Martin Kera, McLafferty's attorney, calling Bonfante "insane." ("Who writes a 112-page complaint?")

You'd also suggest that "being in a lookalikey covers band" isn't an original idea; and that, given Faux Pink were going in 2009, even being a Pink tribute act isn't much of an original idea.

Oh, and the lawsuit?

He's looking for ten million dollars. There's barely that much cash in being actual Pink.

Two Macaulay Culkin stories pointing in opposite directions

This sounds positive:

Macaulay Culkin's new girlfriend Jordan Lane Price has reportedly helped him beat drugs after threatening to walk away.

... but I'm not sure it's worked:

We Saw Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza-Themed Velvet Underground Cover Band Last Night

Glastonbury 2014: Removing a stain on the Rabbit Hole Stage

I'm not sure it's quite the first booking for next year's Glastonbury, but one band has already been signed up.

There's a background: the Rabbit Hole Stage was struggling to find someone prepared to play their headline slot against The Stones on Saturday this year, so Hamish Guerrini made up a silly name - The Railing Stains - and put that down for the slot.

The trouble is, nobody at the festival realised it was a joke, and the band name started to appear in promotional literature.

They even got picked as a "top thing to see".

Still, no harm done, eh? It's not like there's a real Railing Stains.

Except there is. They're a Brighton-based Stones tribute, and naturally they were surprised and excited to discover they were playing Glastonbury.

They tried to find out how to get in, but failed. The Argus captures the happy ending:

After hearing of the band’s disappointment through The Argus, Mr Guerrini added: “When I found out we tried to get in touch, it would have been great to have them play.

But unfortunately it didn’t happen.

“As a way of making it up to them I would love to book them for next year on the Rabbit Hole stage.”

That's, of course, assuming Eavis doesn't poach them for the Pyramid stage.

Soundgarden: They're unique

Chris Cornell has been chit-chatting with The Sun's Tim Nixon, to stress what a unique beast Soundgarden are:

“We stand alone outside of genres. We’re not like anybody else. We can’t be imitated.”

'Not like anyone else' is over-egging it a bit; certainly the comparisons with Nirvana were odious, but frankly, if you ordered Soundgarden and got Alice In Chains or Temple Of The Dog you'd probably not complain.

And "can't be imitated", Chris? That might come as a surprise to Jesus Christ Pose, who make a living imitating Soundgarden in New York. Or A New Damage, who imitate Soundgarden in Israel.

Then there's Audiogarden, who sound a lot like Soundgarden down in California.

And then there's this lot, Bleed Together:

Actually, they sound better than Soundgarden proper.

At last, evolution throws up something more irritating than a WASP

Oh, good. Chris Holmes, Randy Piper, Steve Unger, Rich Lewis and Stet Howland - you'll note three of them used to be in WASP - have come together to form a band which seems to be a tribute act to themselves:

[Howland says] "We will play all the hits, as well as ALL the dangerous music the current [lineup of] W.A.S.P. is skipping. 'Fuck Like A Beast'? 'Mean Man'? Huhh? HUH?"

But let's not run away with the idea that this is a bunch of dumped WASPs trying to cling to old glories. They've got a whole different name: Where Angels Suffer. Although, erm, they will be answering to WAS.

She wasn't Toni Braxton enough for me

What could be worse than turning up to see Toni Braxton, and discovering that the person on stage wasn't Toni Braxton at all? Besides turning up, it not being her, and then a riot ensuing.

Somehow, people in Suriname were able to remember what the real Toni Braxton looks like, and, realising that the woman on stage was Trina Johnson, a Braxton impersonator, set about trashing the joint and looting.

It's the worst tribute-act related violence since Nowaysis fans kicked stuff after realising the Knebworth gigs were actually being played by the real Gallaghers.

Toni Braxton's people have issued a statement, glad of a reason to be in the news:

"Toni Braxton is aware of what happened and is obviously displeased with what happened. She regrets that both she and her fans have been victimized by this hoax. Ms. Braxton's attorneys are exploring the legal ramifications."

It's not entirely clear why Ms Braxton's attorneys would think there would be any legal ramifications of 'tribute act in Suriname goes awry' which should detain them; it's even less clear if the Braxton camp could show any working to justify how Toni has been "victimized" by the event - unless, perhaps, she was also playing a gig in neighbourhood and lost ticket sales?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Good enough? Mathew fills Ringo's hole

With Ringo's deadline for signing stuff looming, thank god Dodgy have arranged a bail-out. Two-time Ringo in a Beatles tribute band, Mathew Priest is offering to sign on Ringo's behalf. Only from the 21st, mind:



[Thanks to Mike E for the tip]

Yes. Well, no, not quite Yes.

Jon Anderson forced the cancellation of the Yes 40th anniversary tour and is still ill. So the band is hitting the road with Benoit David on vocals.

Who he? He's a singer in Yes tribute acts - although presumably they're not actually tribute acts any more if they feature an actual member of the actual band?

Anderson might be a little nervous about this development, as Yes seem to be enjoying having a singer who's a little more easy to work with:

[Chris] Squire hopes to work songs from [the Anderson-less Drama] album into the set for the upcoming tour, plus a few songs he said were not Anderson's favorites to perform live but the rest of the band likes.

Also, we hear David brings donuts to rehearsals.

"Watch out for the cycle path? I thought you said beware of the psychopath"

Another email from James P:

You may remember a story a few months back about a Meat
Loaf impersonator getting threats from Meat Loaf himself, over his tourbus's similarity to Meat Loaf's own.

It gets worse for the poor chap.

He's currently in a legal battle with a working men's club where he was due to play. He refused to go onstage after his tribute bus got stuck up a cycle track where staff had directed him. According to the article, "Club staff also demolished a fence and took down a bollard in a bid to get him to the venue, but to no avail". It's not clear whether that's referring to the bus or the Meat Loaf.

Anyhow, he's now taking the club to court for his £800 fee. Unfortunately they in return have successfully counter-sued for £1950 in lost ticket sales. This is on top of the £1000 he was forced to spend on respraying the tourbus to keep Meatloaf happy.

Is there an unluckier tribute artist out there (besides the Gary Glitter acts, obviously)? I don't know of any. Surely this is PR gold for the real Meatloaf though, who can now claim that he's put some sort of demonic curse on the bus? I reckon a simple statement to the press saying "Meatloaf wishes him the best of luck with the next MOT, as it'd be terrible if it failed..." would do wonders for his image.

James ends up suggesting they never had this trouble with Vengabus, although to be fair, the Venga Boys never got the lucrative Thirsk and Sowerby Institute gig.

Perhaps the most jaw-dropping aspect of this is that the club stood to make about a thousand quid on the deal in the first place - no wonder they were ripping up bollards and pulling down fences to try and get the fake Meat Loaf (Quorn Loaf?) into the building.

It turns out there had been a simple solution all along:

Kevin Andrew, secretary of the Thirsk and Sowerby Institute, said: "A lot of people were very disappointed. We had to tell people on the door it was not going ahead.

"He could have parked on a doctor's car park and we would have helped him with his equipment, but he sped off and didn't give us a chance to offer him alternative access.

"He was bang out of order."

Come on, Mr. Andrew - you can't really complain if you hire a Meat Loaf tribute who leaves like a Bat of Hell, can you?

The original plan fell through when the pig dirigibles couldn't carry the weight of the cabins

Cruises. They're great, aren't they? Being trapped on a floating hulk of metal; having to dress up for the captain's table; Looooooveee... eeexciiiting aaand newwwww..... You know the only thing that could make cruises even better?

If they were prog rock themed.

Now, though, comes the great gig in the sea:

This one-of a kind voyage will feature the music of Think Floyd USA: The American Pink Floyd Show, and will celebrate material from Pink Floyd’s earliest days through the present. Think Floyd USA will take listeners on a musical and visual flight through the Pink Floyd galaxy performing all of Pink Floyd’s classic hits from legendary albums such as Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, Animals and the all time classic, The Wall.

Oh, we can see it now: Hey! Purser! Leave those ships alone!

The organisers proudly insist this is the "first Pink Floyd themed cruise to the Bahamas", as if to leave open the possibility that there might, perhaps, be some boats crossing the Med with Radio KAOS pumping across the dancefloor.

The really wealthy, of course, go on yacht-rock-themed yacht trips.

Mathew returns

After last year's Mathew Street debacle - and I'm not sure anyone is any the clearer as to how the council managed to screw it up so spectacularly - this year, the event is back (or at least is planned to be.) James M brought the announcement to our attention:

Liverpool's "year of culture" goes from bad to worse. Bill Heckle, director of the Matthew Street festival claims to have listened to the public. I presume that's "listened" in the Gordon Brown sense of the word. Right Said Fred? Chas & Dave? Both are nostalgia/tribute acts in themselves. As for the stage given over to local unsigned acts, that was done at the previous festival in 2006; a stage stuck out at the Pier Head, separated from the rest of the city centre. Moreover, the space given over in Williamson Square to local hip-hop acts seems insultingly tokenistic. Ah, well, never mind. If we get bored of yeah, yeah, yeahs & mop top wigs, there's always the Kaiser Thiefs, Antarctic Monkeys & Absolute Bowie, eh?

The strangest announced act is Amy Wynehouse - which is less a tribute act, more like one of those supermarket own-brands that try to pass themselves off as a proper brand by making the smallest possible changes to the packaging. Thay are also billing Cher, which we're guessing might not be the real thing.

Zappa'da ya face: Estate attacks tribute acts

It's something of a surprise to discover there's such a thriving Frank Zappa tribute scene that his widow feels the need to close it down.

Gail Zappa claims her worries are based around a cheapening of her Frank's memory by plodding pub acts doing his songs, and - more convincingly - that they're not coughing up the money for the estate. So, writs are flying - including one designed to close down Zappanale fan convention for breaching trademark law by using the word Zappa and, erm, an outline of a moustache.

We wish Gail luck with her campaign - after all, by refusing to allow grassroot fans the right to celebrate their hero, it's only going to be a matter of time before Zappa's name dies out. Perhaps she should also stop them playing his records on the radio.

The attempts to shutdown tribute acts, of course, does not extend to Dweezil Zappa's Zappa Plays Zappa tour. Hey, won't the mother's son be popular if there were no other tribute acts around?

Jacksons children exploitation

A Jackson Five tribute band has been blocked from playing an aftershow for the Royal Variety Performance because the event starts too late for the kids to work under child labour laws:

A council spokesman said: “We have issued licences for them in the past. But the law is clear that minors cannot be issued with a licence to perform beyond 10.30pm, under any circumstances.”

Naturally, there's some muttering about "red tape" in the Echo's coverage.

Spice Girls' people block tribute show

VH1 had a nifty idea to celebrate - if celebrate is the word - the return of the Spice Girls: a talent show to put together a five-piece tribute act. Trouble is, the Spice Girl bunker got wind of it, sent a few threatening letters and now it isn't going to happen.

Presumably taking a bunch of showbiz wannabes, finding five who fitted a pre-cut "personality-style" template and could sing a bit, and putting them on stage wasn't just trading on the Spice Girls' brand; it was exactly how the Spice Girls were made in the first place. We imagine Fuller was worried VH1 would have ended up with a tribute which outclassed the original.

So long, I'm off to rejoin a Cult

Ian Astbury, who, lest we forget, has been spending the last four years pretending to be Jim Morrison in The Doors, has had enough. He's heading back off to restart The Cult. There's a statement:

"I have decided to move on and focus on my own music and legacy. I have learned a great deal from the both of them, and it certainly has expanded my abilities as a performer.

"This has been a difficult decision to make but I feel I would be holding them back as well as myself if I did not depart at this time."

I'm sorry, Ian, did you just say you were going to focus on your legacy, like you're Billie Holiday or Malcolm X?

And you've got to love the idea that the continued presence of Ian Astbury might "hold back" Riders On The Storm (they can't actually call themselves The Doors) more than, say, the fact that the whole point of the band existing vanished when a guy ODed in the bath back when Elsie Tanner was a lass.