She wasn't Toni Braxton enough for me

What could be worse than turning up to see Toni Braxton, and discovering that the person on stage wasn't Toni Braxton at all? Besides turning up, it not being her, and then a riot ensuing.

Somehow, people in Suriname were able to remember what the real Toni Braxton looks like, and, realising that the woman on stage was Trina Johnson, a Braxton impersonator, set about trashing the joint and looting.

It's the worst tribute-act related violence since Nowaysis fans kicked stuff after realising the Knebworth gigs were actually being played by the real Gallaghers.

Toni Braxton's people have issued a statement, glad of a reason to be in the news:

"Toni Braxton is aware of what happened and is obviously displeased with what happened. She regrets that both she and her fans have been victimized by this hoax. Ms. Braxton's attorneys are exploring the legal ramifications."

It's not entirely clear why Ms Braxton's attorneys would think there would be any legal ramifications of 'tribute act in Suriname goes awry' which should detain them; it's even less clear if the Braxton camp could show any working to justify how Toni has been "victimized" by the event - unless, perhaps, she was also playing a gig in neighbourhood and lost ticket sales?

[Thanks to Michael M]

Unbreak My Heart

Toni Braxton - who has had heart problems in the past - has been cancelling gigs this week after she was hospitalised with chest pains. Her people are hoping she'll be well enough to pick up the tour next week.

There wasn't funds enough for me

Toni Braxton is currently getting some grief, as designer Anthony Franco claims that a cheque she passed to pay for $35,000-worth of costumes bounced like a rubber ball on Saturn.

Mind you, it's hard to see how you could get through that much money making clothes for Braxton - it's not like the cost of materials is going to come to much, is it?

It's all in the hands of the courts now.