No Rock And Roll Fun

OBSOLETE TECHNOLOGY: The return of Toploader looks set to keep us topped up with easy targets for months to come - do they really believe this whole thing? Do they live this? Only a band from Eastbourne could attempt to foist the 'I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke' advert on us and pretend its a, like, totally new concept, man. There are just too many smug, self-satisified bands in the world - you'll know I'm no fan of the Gallagher carcrash (a term that's become slightly more ironic recently), but at least they do try and talk their music up, unlike acts like Ver Loader, or Jammyragoquai, who just give off this whole air of 'You should be pleased we have come to entertain you'. Listen here, Josh - you can buy the world all the Cokes you can afford, but it still won't make the purchase of a Toploader single anything more than an empty, meanigless cash-based transaction devoid of any effect upon the quality of the purchaser's life, the depth of their thoughts, or the extent of their joy. You might think we've fallen for your schtick, that we believe your Ozric Tentacles-meets-Boyzone tunes are in some way a celebration of the sweet beauty of life and the tingling delight of love, but we've got you sussed: the only thing Toploader celebrate is themselves. There are no holes in the body of World Culture which are shaped like a Toploader song; so please stop trying to fill them.