No Rock And Roll Fun

SO MUCH TO BE THANKFULL FOR: Glastonbury 2004 gets the go-ahead without any strings this time round - mega-fence seems to have done the trick; unless all the local objecters have finally realised they're on a losing kick and moved out; Mark off Pop Idol finds screaming fans 'scary' - don't worry Mark, we're sure it's not something you'll have to be fretting about for too much longer; Mark Knopfler's become a dad again at 54 - we're sure a screaming infant will be incompatable with a near-senior citizen writing new songs, so it truly is a blessing for all concerned;Shops are running short of Will Young's new single, so at least some kids are going to actually get what they wanted for Christmas - the ones whose parents turned up after the singles had gone, of course; The Cheeky Girls have been mugged in Oxford Street - somehow, they both ended up bruised and scratched despite only one of them having their bag stolen, so they really are like some single-organismed double headed freaky deaky nightmare, and we've won a ten pound pub bet; Justin Timberlake's granny thinks Cameron Diaz is too immature for him - if only Laura Bush wasn't out of the dating game, eh?; and The Darkness have been inspired by a visit to Alcatraz Prison, although just to write a song and not to abandon music for a life of crime.