No Rock And Roll Fun

THE ANTI-COWELL: We had no idea Oprah was leaping on the Pop Idol bandwagon - although we'd imagine that The Winfrey will be a lot more constructive with sweaty fat blokes trying to knock out You Sexy Thing without grasp on either tune or tone.

One of the finalists was apparently a gynecologist, which throws up the possibility of a really crude punchline about how he'd be used to be working with a bunch of... but no, we'll let it go this time.