No Rock And Roll Fun

PARENTAL ADVISORY: The following story contains these elements: Alice Cooper's thrashing snake and an unusual bulge. Those of a sensitive disposition, or anyone reading in Maryland, may like to skip to the next story.
What really happened, of course, is that Alice Cooper's on-stage pyhton chum managed to wolf down a 12-by-14 heating pad as a desert following a tasty live rat. Fearing the equipment might kill the snake - also called Alice, and apparently albino - an at-risk snake helper (and where would the music industry be without the sterling work of at-risk snake helpers?) was called in, who take the snake to a vet. (See, who else would have thought of that? Thank god there was a specialist.) The pad was removed, and an anaconda understudy joined Cooper on stage that evening. All's well that... hey, where's my kitten gone?