Sunday, November 21, 2004

WE'D SO HOPED HE'D GET TO SPEND SOME MORE TIME IN A GERMAN JAIL: Lucky sod Liam Gallagher managed to escape from his brawl with Legitimate Businessmen in Munich with only a couple of missing teeth. Now, he's managed to escape the legal ramifications with a tiny fine of GBP40,000. The German courts heard that Oasis had already been pissed and irritating when a dj - unaware that the scruffy peanut throwing yobs in the corner were actually Oasis - played one of their records. Liam apparently took the stage to do a karoke version. One of the band fell into the businessmen's table leading to what would have been a bit of unpleasantness had not Gallagher - who tested positive for coke - decided that men in suits would be an easy target and responded with fisticuffs. The men in suits, however, proved more than a match for a bunch of pissed Mancunians, and the scuffle turned into a scrap, before developing into a brawl and eventually a fight. Liam got the shit twatted out of him, windows got broken. Perhaps the person who came off worse was a female toilet attendant who Gallagher showed his cock to during the fight - she gets five hundred quid which she'll probably put towards the many years of therapy she'll need. Let's hope her family are sensitive and don't waggle the parson's nose at her this Christmas - it'll bring it all back for her.