You could have one-thousandth of a war for that

If you had to piss away three million quid as quickly as possible - perhaps if your life suddenly turned into a real version of Brewster's Millions - you could do worse than spend the cash trying to advertise Virgin Radio.

The BBC spoof Radio Active used to bill itself as 'Britain's First National Local Radio Station'; with its ever-changing breakfast show "star presenters" (now Pete Mitchell and Geoff Lloyd - who they?), quality AM network with confusing non-standard frequency across the whole of the country, a music format that's been pissed about with so many times it's now apparently chasing that elusive audience who value Pink and, erm, Queen, Virgin is clearly the second.