Saturday, May 10, 2003

IS IT THE INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE HUBRIS?: Robbie is begging for Americans to vote for him, like a man who can't even afford a digital street team - since the 'breaking America' clause was what swung the contract for EMI, he must be fuming now, surely? We'd loved to have been at that meeting: "Right, what's the plan?"
"We thought you could tour round the US playing shopping centres and begging for airplay on small radio stations. It worked for Tiffany."
Meanwhile, falling even further is Madonna, whose new album is moving so slowly out of record shops its believed to have inspired the gridlock britain drama on BBC TV this week. How we chortled when Posh went to Woolworths; but to drop on the scale of Madonna having to tramp down to HMV to sing a couple of songs, Victoria Beckham would have had to have got a job stacking shelves in a Kwik Save music department.
Best of all, she didn't seem to realise. She harrangued the poor sods that they should go and do something with the energy and love they had for her, or words to that effect. She didn't seem to realise that the audience comprised almost entirely of gay men, a warning sign that she's waned from starlet, through curiosity to end up as walking tragedy. Her performance could best be described as distracted - she might have paid lip service to being blessed and lucky to be there, but the delivery of the songs weren't even 'will this do' but 'make it stop'.
You're doing instore performances, Madonna. You were once Like A Virgin. Now you're Like Atomic Kitten. If you're struggling that much to keep an audience, you might want to learn a little more humility, or you're going to need to struggle a whole lot more.


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