Saturday, June 28, 2003

YOU ANNOYING TWAT: Robbie Williams is getting his pants in a parlour-game over the apparent lack of support we (i.e. the British) are giving him over his attempts to increase his personal wealth and ruin another country with his ridiculous gurning and woefully clod-hopping antics ("break America")
Robbie says he can't understand why we're not proud: "I think it's weird how England has treated my so-called onslaught into America, you know... `Robbie will never do it, stop it, don't even try' and all that business. Come on England, get behind me
It's such a shame that I could be one of the only people that could come over here and break it big. You'd think they'd be proud of me.
I'm aiming to be the biggest artist in the world without America on this album. That's not to say that I'm giving up on this territory."


Right, let's just look at this twattage. England haven't said 'don't even try' - indeed, if we thought for one moment there was a possibility that the United States would take Williams to their hearts, and shower him with so much love and praise they'd never let him go, keeping him touring his increasingly tawdry act round and round and round the Americas, we'd be the first to buy him a ticket and send him off. Thing is, what most people predicted was that the good people of America would view a loudmouth clotheshorse doing his own special (yawn) brand of antics with the sort of bemused disdain they'd give any other crappy British half-assed comedy act. Like they'd treat, say, the film version of On The Buses, or Paul Daniels.

Secondly, why should we get behind you? As I recall, when you signed your deal that was - snurkle - going to make you a big star in America, your reaction wasn't "Hey, guys, let's show the Americans we can still make music" or even "I can't wait to show a whole new audience of millions what I can do", but some sickening bellowing about being rich beyond your wildest dreams, wasn't it? So, why, exactly, should we be expected to throw our weight and support behind your attempts to make grotesque amounts of money out of miniscule talent? Because you're also from Britain? You don't think, perhaps, if you're expecting us to support you as some sort of figurehead for our culture, you might have squandered that support through your pathetic behaviour on the chat show circuit?

And finally: isn't your own admission that now you're 'not giving up on' but are focusing on The Rest Of The World (sorry, New Zealand) a sing that the people who said you wouldn't have any success in America were, actually, ahem, right? And, yes, it is a shame that you're one of the few British Acts to get a push in the States. Maybe if EMI hadn't pissed so much money away on your contract, and instead spread the cash around on more creative acts (ones who write their own music for example), we wouldn't be in such dire straits that we're being asked to put the faith of our nation in the twenty first century's answer to Arthur Askey.


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