No Rock And Roll Fun

FINGERS... NOT THE FINGERS: If we were Mylenne Klass and someone asked us to insure our fingers for a million, we'd be awaiting a visit from a hired heavy with a crowbar and a record company plan to recoup their investment. Mylenne's digit-protection plan came about when she burned her fingers taking an item out of a microwave oven - yes, those Veg Lasagnes for one can hurt in so many ways, can't they? - which doesn't suggest that she needs an insurance policy so much as a good pair of oven gloves. "It's GBP100,000 a finger" she calculates, proving that she's not a dumb as people might like to think - although to be accurate, that suggests that her palms are totally without value.

If you own stock in an insurance firm, pray that she doesn't come into contact with unguarded threshing machines. And hope her managers keep a stock of ice nearby.