No Rock And Roll Fun

THAT'S CHRISTMAS RUINED, THEN: The desperate attempt to try and refloat the idea of Kelly Osbourne being an artist in her own right - which even the NME has given up as a bad job - continues, with the news that Kelly and Ozzy are going to do a duet for Christmas. It's not the first time a daughter has sung with her dead father - Natalie Cole recorded a record with deceased pop Nat 'King' Cole a few years back, of course. (Why does the 'King' always have to appear in quotes? Is it to make it clear that he never actually was a hereditary head of state of any territory? And if so, why wasn't it TAFKA'P', and so on?).

Sweetly, they've chosen to cover a Black Sabbath number about, erm, Ozzy's divorce, but apparently the plan is to rework the lyrics to discuss the changes in the father-daughter dynamic as the girl grows up and the father grows so increasingly confused he can't be trusted to fetch his own slippers from under the bed. And, we'd imagine, to put tonnes of reverb on Kelly's vocals, which we fondly expect to be buried deeper in the mix than the good prize in a Primary School's Christmas Fayre bran tub.