No Rock And Roll Fun

QUICK! BEFORE HER FACE MELTS: Cher, who is on her farewell tour, has announced her UK & Ireland leg dates. She'll be sitting astride a giant gun and performing at least three costume changes a song at May 8 - Dublin, The Point; 9 - Belfast, Odyssey Arena; 11 - Glasgow, SECC; 14 - Birmingham, NEC Arena; 17 - Manchester, MEN Arena; 19 - Sheffield, Hallam FM Arena; 21 - London, Wembley Arena.

Cher's explained her decision to stop touring thus: ""Deciding to stop is partly an age thing," she said. "The only person I know of my age who's still doing this is Tina Turner. I'm doing things on stage that would choke a girl of 20." Kind of like Michael Hutchence, then?"It's not the performing that's hard, it's the going from place to place, always travelling and staying in strange hotel rooms every night. I'll still be around, it's not like I'm going to leave the universe - I just won't tour again." She also forgot to mention that even the less cynical American public do like to have a farewell tour and a gap of at least six months before they'll shell out extra for a comeback date.