Thursday, February 05, 2004

YEAH... THANKS, YOKO: It cannot be stressed enough that Yoko Ono is an incredibly, incredibly bad artist who, were it not for the packages of cash that flop through her letterbox from her late husband's estate, would be doing something a lot more useful with her time like asking "paper or plastic?" or maybe delivering mail. So it's frustrating that Jonny Greenwood and Graham Coxon turn up for a Yoko launch show - if you need free wine and nibbles so badly, lads, you could come to ours and we'd have opened a tub of that Tescos Vintage Cheddar Dip for you.

Yoko's new exhibition is about, you know, stuff:

"Right now we are so steeped in the psychodrama we have created, we can no longer see our reality, except through the influences of various propaganda. I have decided to be a cockroach for a day, and see what is happening in this city (New York) through its eyes. Since we can easily say that New York City is the cultural centre of our society, I have taken various pictures of the city’s comers and presented them from a cockroaches point of view. Through the eyes of this other strong race, we may learn the reality of what our dreams and nightmares have created."

Erm... right. Is this about the 70s myth that cockroaches would survive a nuclear blast and rule the planet, then? And what exactly do you mean that we can't see reality except through propaganda? Isn't that a bit like saying we can't see the sky except through the ceiling (a self-contradicting statement, Yoko). And when you say you were being a cockroach, were you, or did you merely squat down on the floor to take a few snaps? And we can "easily" say that New York is the cultural centre of our society, can we? How, exactly? Isn't New York kinda open-minded, 24 hour, liberal-leaning, queer-embracing and multiracial - do you really think that is even representative of the general Western Culture? (Clue: look at reaction to the Janet Jackson boob thing). Really, Yoko, what you should have said is this:

Not being a very good photographer, I've decided to take some pictures from wacky angles - like on Ask The Family - and happily am able to afford to hire a gallery to display them in. So you don't think you're wasting your time looking at some rubbish photos, I'm going to try and pretend that a close-up of a shoe will tell you everything you need to know about Iraq. If you tell me it's rubbish, I'll see you never get to play Revolver again. I can, you know.


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