No Rock And Roll Fun

GERI'S CAREER - SAVED: We're not exactly sure quite why it's crucial for her career that Geri halliwell's throat op hasn't left her unable to sing - indeed, we'd have thought that it might have helped her concentrate full-time on fucking halfwits to get in the Daily Mirror, writing dimwitted autobiographies about her dull life and sucking up to the Tories and the Palace if she stopped making an arse of herself in the recording studio - but nevertheless, that's how its being reported. In fact, so ropey was her voice beforehand she's genuinely discovered that she's a better singer now than she was before the op, which raises the tantalising prospect that if she had a spot of lobotomising, she might click a few points up the IQ scale as well.

Curiously, her press people describe the problems she had with her vocal chords as being a "result of her time with the Spice Girls." Not, then, the constant puking she indulged in, then?