No Rock And Roll Fun

MORE GELDOF: NO MORE LIVE AID: The BBC are running stories on 6Music at the moment reporting that Bob Geldof has ruled out a Live Aid II, which the Sun was claiming a more-or-less done deal this morning. The paper seems certain of its facts - Bono (of course, fucking Bono) to organise with Richard Curtis (together at last - The Vicar of Dibley and the Overlord of Ego), Coldplay, Radiohead, Macca and Phil Collins up on stage, and "a Whitehall source" saying "it's going to be bigger and better than before" - although, to be honest, the best way to improve on Live Aid I would be not having Phil Collins within a mile of a microphone; perhaps this time he could spend the whole duration of the concert flying about in a plane.

The plan seems to be to raise money to eliminate third world date, which seems to be an odd way of going about things - impoverished governments have been browbeaten into running up more and more foreign debt, and after years of campaigning for it to be written off, the idea now is to have a big telethon to give cash to the international finance companies? Was this idea created watching the final reel of It's A Wonderful Life? Surely that makes no sense - in effect, Coldplay would be taking to the stage to say "Dial now, 01 811 8055, and pledge some cash - even a fiver can make a difference to the Bank of America's bottom line." During the first Live Aid, bank logos were flashed on the screen to show the places where you could and make a donation - this time round, they'd be showing you the likely recipients of your hard earned cash. Patrick Kielty will be popping up at half past six, holding a sheaf of emails - "Tommy says his Gran was so worried to hear that Lloyds TSB had all this foreign debt on its books, she's sold her beloved piano to raise fifty quid to go straight into their coffers."

We can see why even Geldof has his doubts about this one.