No Rock And Roll Fun

IT MIGHT BE THE GREATEST SONG EVER WRITTEN: Band Aid is clearly starting to believe its own publicity a little too much, as the lyrics of a song flung together twenty years ago are now being pawed over like they're the ten commandments, as if the artists think the song itself is in any way important. Get real, singers: it's a device designed to separate people and their money; analysing the lyrics and who sings what bit as if the stress on "tonight" or "bitter" is going to make a penny piece difference is on a par with debating how thick the stem of a British Legion poppy should be, or Andrew Marr putting too much choice into his leather jacket for the Duran skit on Children In Need: it's not in any way significant. Let's join the worst of the lot, thogh, as Bono frets over his "worthiness":

: "I sang the whole song just to remind myself why we were all there. But they were after one line. And it's a line I really, really wasn't comfortable with.

"I didn't like singing it in the first place and I wasn't keen on singing it again - it's such a big line. But Fran and Nigel said, 'You have to sing this line.' I agreed to it. It's important."

I think I see what you've done there, Bono: you've confused something being important with being self-important. It's an easy mistake to make. I just thank God that Nigel Godrich and Fran Healy were on hand to stress how utterly important it is for the starving of Africa - and the people of the world - that you sang that particular line on a charity single. It was vital.