Tuesday, February 22, 2005

IT'S A LEARNING CURVE: We're curious as to what the mistakes that Britney says she's learned from actually are. We'd like to make some suggestions:

* Never marry the loser the same night he proposes - wait at least until sunrise
* Next time someone offers you six million for sex, always ask for a photo before dismissing the offer out of hand
* Shagging Fred Durst doesn't make you feel any cooler, just itchier
* Spending all day wearing a skintight PVC catsuit? Plenty, plenty talcum powder
* When someone asks you for a photo for their "scrapbook", double check they don't mean "...as if I sell it to US, I'll be able to cut it off the front page and paste it in"
* For some reason, people will get the wrong idea if you dress like a schoolgirl and dance like a polegirl. Best to leave the tie off in future.
* Howard Stern: Watch the hands, the man's like an octopus