ROBBIE WILLIAMS IS NOT GAY AND NAOMI CAMPBELL IS NOT UNLIKEABLE

Thank god there was no issue: today, we're being asked by the good people at the News of the World to believe that Robbie Williams and Naomi Campbell had a tempestuous year-long affair. Hold on to your breakfast:

And when Naomi's battle with drugs first hit the headlines in February 2001—after she was snapped leaving a Narcotics Anonymous meeting—Robbie was the first to console her at her Chelsea apartment...with non-stop sex.

Good god, that would perk you up, wouldn't it? You'd just had your privacy invaded so Robbie Williams comes round with the novelty condoms and poorly-made fuzzy handcuffs.

Naomi is, supposedly, the "international supermodel" Robbie had been in bed with the night Robbie didn't turn up for his awards do or whatever it was he missed.

The inside scoop on this hideous coupling came from Naomi Campbell's former PA, Rebecca White. We're not sure if she's one of the ones that Campbell is supposed to have hit, but she did pop up earlier this year claiming that Williams had almost died at one of Campbell's parties. She blahed to the Daily Star:

"Robbie's manager came running into the suite and carried him out of the room. My job was to make sure that the hotel wasn't going to say anything. There was a big cover up."
White adds of Robbie's former lifestyle, "I was buying the purest cocaine you can get. If it was just Robbie, Naomi and a friend in Naomi's flat, I would be given $3,600 (GBP 2,000) to get an eight ball - four and a half grams I believe. That goes probably in an hour or two."

Oddly, she leaves this claim out of her tale of the couple in today's News of the World.

music naomi campbell robbie williams