Monday, February 06, 2006


We're a little bit bemused - wasn't Michael Jackson a Jehovah's Witness? Or possible a member of the Nation of Islam? Only now it turns out he's been having secret talks with the Vatican about setting John Paul's prayers to music - so is he turning Catholic?

It seems the idea might have come from the church rather than Jacko himself:

Yesterday, Father Giuseppe Moscati, of the Millennium Music Society, which specialises in church music and organises musical events at the Vatican, reluctantly confirmed the details.

Fr Moscati said: "We have the rights for the 24 prayers written by Pope John Paul.

"We had hoped the fact that we have been in contact with Michael Jackson would remain a secret. But sadly it has leaked out ahead of time. We are in discussions and trying to sort it out."

It's hard to see why the Catholic Church would want to have its beloved former leader's words set to the music of a man widely viewed as having an healthy interest in children - after all, the taint of condoning child abuse would be something that could cause problems for something like a church, don't you think?

Fr Moscati dismissed Jackson's controversial past and insisted it was no barrier to him working with the Catholic Church. The priest said: "He was cleared and found not guilty by a jury."

Well, actually, he was found not guilty of some specific cases of child abuse, but wasn't exactly cleared, what with jurors running about saying "we reckon he did something, but not these." And then there was the bloke who he made the massive pay-off to. And the cheerful admission that he has kids from unrelated families sleeping in his bed overnight. And... well, the point is probably made.

On the other hand, the head of the Catholic Church in England and Wales was quite happy to keep Father MIchael Hill, for example, still in post despite knowing he was a convicted child abuser, giving him the access to notch up a few more offences and ruin some other lives. When the Church isn't really bothered about actual convicted sex offenders being put into positions of trust where they're coming into contact with children, why would we expect them to be that bothered about Jackson's behaviour.

And some Christians think that mildly amusing cameo appearances on Will & Grace leave churches open to public ridicule.


Anonymous said...

White doves, turning R&B-lite into megahits (surely a kind of transubstantiation?), the betrayal by close colleagues (that's you, Martin), the whiff of homosexuality, the skin tone which is closer to light brown than black, friendships with dodgy women (Liz Taylor, take a bow) and the "crucified" pose in the video to Earth Song. Yes, Michael thinks he's Jesus and, Popey, he's coming home.

I was going to say this resembles something from the Da Vinci Code but I don't want to be accused of stealing someone else's discredited ideas for personal profit and/or pleasure. I'll leave that to D*n Brown (search on "Baigent" for more details).

Anonymous said...

A shiny new penny to anyone who can remember any of Jesus Christ's megahits, either of the R&B-lite variety or from his earlier polka career.

Anonymous said...

I am curious as to the meaning of the phrase 'found not guilty of... but not exactly cleared of' charges. If one is found not guilty then one is cleared of charges.

Anonymous said...

Well the court only leaves rooms for the verdicts of "guilty" and "not guilty". Whereas in Jackson's case the verdict was really "guilty of something, but probably not this, and even if he is the victim's bother's a bitch, so we'll let it go"

Anonymous said...

Hence the transubstantiation, something that Jesus actually did but MJ is only doing metaphorically.

And what do you think Jesus was doing between being born and doing the whole "Sermon On The Mount" thing? There's about a couple of decades missing from the history. Considering his last year on Earth he was very popular, very vilified and then very there no more, he may well been the world's first "talent search" winner (yes, even before Will Young, kids).

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