Monday, December 11, 2006

Liam Gallagher discovers metaphor; similes taken into hiding as a precaution

Liam Gallagher thinks he's the luckiest kitten in the golden litter:

“I’m the geezer with the champagne getting Man Of The Match. I think we all know that.

“I’m the one who scores in the last minute. NOEL’s the defender who drives it and that. You do the work and I’ll just have a laugh and look good.”

Maybe, Liam, although looking at it, Noel's more the player-manager who seems to be giving you less and less time on the pitch as the season progresses. And while you might win the odd man of the match award, is that really going to make up for the way your team, once Premiership contenders, is sliding down the table and relying on the support of old men who refuse to accept the glory days are over? Is it really so great to be the most flamboyant member of the QPR squad?

Still, at least Liam has finally come clean about the low horizons Oasis suffer from:

“A lot of people like lots of music. I don’t. I think that’s ignorant.

“It’s like having loads of girlfriends. I don’t like lots of styles of music, I just like rock ’n’ roll.”

This isn't much of a surprise - if you've ever heard two Oasis records, you'd have spotted that - but for someone to think that his blinkered, white-bread-and-marge only approach is, in some way, clever and noble almost makes you feel sorry for him.

“I want Oasis to be bigger. I want to make great records that people love. I think there’s a special one round the corner.”

Yes, there certainly is. Unfortunately, it's a corner you've already gone round over ten years ago.