Ooh, Mr. D'Arcy...

We wouldn't normally bother with the news of Colion Farrell dating Nicola Ward - Ward, those of you who have long memories and empty diaries might recall, could have been in Girls Aloud but quit the Popstars: The Rivals circus. However, we have been having an existential struggle with the article's headline:

Colin Farrell is dating a failed British pop star wannabe

How, exactly, does one "fail" as a "wannabe"? Presumably if you achieve success, then you've failed in a way, but as Ward is now languishing in obscure band Cushh she's clearly not arrived in any way. (Indeed, so obscure are Cushh, if you Google image search on them the first results are all of Colin Farrell.)

Or is she a wannabe failed British pop star? Someone who yearns to have screwed up a chance at the big time? But - having turned down the chance to be in Girls Aloud - that's something she has achieved.

It's all very puzzling. Any ideas?