Blog round up: Jesus and the loos

The Daily Telegraph blog has had an encounter with someone a sight more famous than Harry Enfield:

A man nearby says "Bless you". I thank him and marvel at how polite people are at this festival.

Then he says, "And it couldn't have come from a better person".

Okaayyy... At this point I should probably have started running away avoiding eye contact but I was intrigued. "And why's that?" I ask.

He holds up his hands. They have extensive scars radiating out from the middle of his palms. "Because I am Jesus Christ reborn" the man says. I look down at his t-shirt. It bears the slogan "Jesus is coming - hide the porn".

Surely, though, working daily with Bill Deedes would make meeting the Messiah something of a step down?

Apparently, the Arctic Monkeys weren't leaving their wellbeing to chance blessings from Jesus 2.0 - the NME reckons each band member came with their own security guard in tow.

It does seem that MIA didn't show - NME proper reports that Lily Allen stepped in to be the inaugral act on the Park Stage. God alone knows what Lauren Laverne was actually looking at when she "saw" MIA, then.

Caitlin Moran discovered one of the unsung heroes of the site for The Times: The Loo Keeper.

The moral high-ground of the event was surely claimed by the Loo Keeper, up in the Green Kidz Field. Armed only with a “Loo Keeper” hat and a toilet brush, the Loo Keeper’s sacred duty is to keep odifer-ous, lurching, digestively excessive adults from the only two Portaloos reserved for children.

“People can get quite arsey,” the Loo Keeper said, keeping guard over her much-coveted zip-up bag of toilet-rolls. “They’ ll say things like ‘But these are the only clean toilets!’ And I’ll reply ‘Yes, that’s because I keep people like you out of them.’

The only worry is that we'll get a fifteen minute package on her activities on BBC 2 tomorrow evening.

Obviously, the desire to spend time drinking cider and crossing over the site to just miss the band you wanted to see means that most of the posts coming from the bloggers who've paid to be there are brief. So:

Wardrobe Slave on Bloc Party: Waste of time
Mr T on the Cider Bus: yummy yummy cider by the bucket load (Mr T is, we think, the same guy who did glastonbury2005.blogspot.com)
Swiss Toni on Amy Winehouse: The sun comes out