Saturday, June 21, 2008

Darkness at 3AM: Filling every corner

When I was at first school, the head was a frugal woman - a child during the war years, she couldn't stand waste, and so when you finished a writing-book, you had to visit her office for permission to pick up a new one. She would then look through every page of the completed book, and - should she find so much as an eighth of a page unused, she would return you to the classroom with an injunction not to return until the book was really full.

The teaching staff, of course, hated this, as marking became a game of trying to hunt through the book looking for which corners their pupils were having to cram work into. Wisely, they would encourage us to draw pictures in any gaps around our work so that the head would have no places to force us to fill.

For some reason, this spurious 'fill every gap with something, no matter how pointless' rule occured to us when we saw this piece taking up space on the 3AM Page:

would you rather...

...accompany Rhys Ifans - clad only in his Notting Hill underpants - to dinner at The Ivy OR wear the same pants every day for a week?

They should have just drawn a picture of Kate Moss eating some cheese.