Monday, June 02, 2008

Lydon: Rotten no longer

Needing some more coins, John Lydon and the boys have released a DVD of some Sex Pistols gig or other - it's always been about the money, hasn't it? So John Lydon is trotting round the press circuit again, trying to pretend he's still anti-establishment while the Sunday Telegraph pats him on the head. He trots through it all again - his hard early life, how terrible the Church is to him; the reason he quit I'm A Celebrity (the Lockerbie connection, of course) but not why he went on in the first place. There's a genuinely touching piece in the middle, when the interview mentions his late father, but it gets undermined by Lydon's insistence the piece doesn't mention him crying.

Oh, and he's sure he's going to get offered a gong:

'They're bound to offer me a knighthood. They can stuff it - those institutions are the Devil incarnate.'

Why are they bound to offer him one? There's surely very little room in the Venn diagram where 'ITV gameshow stooge' and 'knighthood' overlaps, and if they were going to dub him Sir Punk, wouldn't he already be trumpeting how he'd knocked back an MBE at least by now? It's typical of the empty noises - bragging about turning down something he's never going to be offered.

And the rotten teeth? Fixed, at the cost of ten thousand pounds. But not out of vanity, oh no no:
it wasn't vanity that sent me to the dentist after all those years. It was necessity. Ill health. All those rotten teeth were seriously beginning to corrupt my system. I was feeling incredibly ill. I was permanently poisoning myself with gum infections. And my gums were receding and I was starting to look seriously weird.

If it's not vanity, then why have such expensive work done, though? Come on, John, you've earned your money the hard way - comeback tours and real estate - at least don't feel shame in spending it.