Gordon in the morning: Wiltshire, Manhattan

If you can believe a word of what appears in Bizarre...

Well, let's just pretend we can, shall we?

Madonna is supposedly trying to recreate her Wiltshire mansion in New York. Perhaps she's reaching the age where it's just going to make it easier to find the toilet in the night if it's in the same layout.

Let's hope the architects charged with creating a clone of the mansion don't try to get a look at the original, what with how Madonna had people's rights to cross her land removed on the grounds that she was Madonna.

Meanwhile, Sara Nathan files a report that the Kidscape charity has nothing better to do than issue press releases about Jordan calling Peter Andre a cunt on Twitter:

Kidscape director Claude Knights said: "Celebrities have a responsibility not to negatively influence young people. Teenagers have a huge presence on Twitter and young girls model themselves on female idols."

Well, yes, but if Kidscape think this is the sort of thing it should be spending its time and money doing, wouldn't it be better off trying to campaign against the idea that a woman who has made her money showing her tits to people is a brilliant role model in the first place?