Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Gordon in the morning: Hair news

Churning out another non-story from N-Dubz this morning, Gordon reveals Dappy still has more money than sense. Although in Dappy's case, that would just be "any money at all":

[T]he N-DUBZ star is shelling out about £1,000 a month on a personal hairdresser to take care of his dodgy barnet.

Does this mean other people have impersonal hairdressers? But isn't all hairdressing personal by its very nature? Or does Dappy get something beyond "planned your holidays, sir?"
A source said: "Dappy is very image conscious since the band have hit the bigtime."

He can't be that image conscious, otherwise he'd never go out the house.


James said...

One line of that story stood out for me;

"If he really wants to save money, I can recommend a few places that will do his patented "short back and no sides" look for under a fiver."

Couple of things:
1) 'If he really wants to save money'? Which part of 'Idiot In Hat Thinks Nothing Of Paying Fortune For Haircuts That Nobody Will See' suggests he wants to save money?
2) I'm starting to suspect that Gordon uses a Word template to write all his stories, with a box towards the end (just before 'Crowbar in Song Title') marked 'Insert Forced Down-To-Earth Geezer Bullshit Reference'. Cuh! Celebrities, eh? A thousand pounds a month on haircuts?! I know of high-street barbers that don't cost that much! Madonna's spent £2m redecorating her house? I could do it for the price of two tins of Magnolia! Jay-Z's spent £300 on a bottle of champagne?! I'd be happy with a can of Irn-Bru!! Chris Martin gives his daughter organic cucumber sandwiches for lunch?! I'd rather eat... Hang on... *checks desk* Prosciutto and dijon on caramelized onion focaccia! No, wait... *rummages through bin* Sea-salt and balsamic vinegar Kettle Chips! Shit, hang on a sec... *checks studentconversationtips.co.uk/retrofood* Pickled Onion Monster Munch!

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