JLS want to wrap up your penis

Oh, god. It turns out that the much-talked-up JLS condom range has turned into an actual product:

And not only do the four different packs of extra safe condoms feature each band member's individual colour, they also are branded with the boys' faces.

Having Marvin JLS peering out at you is going to ensure safer sex - who's going to be able to maintain an erection under those conditions?

You can hear the grinding of PR strategists trying to market a product for the sexually active using a band whose fans tends towards the prepubescent:

Marvin, who is dating The Saturdays star Rochelle Wiseman, added: 'We came up with the idea of Just Love Safe as we wanted to send a clear message out to fans that are over 16 and sexually active - and that is to always use a condom during sex.'

It's not clear if Marvin thinks that fans under the age of 16 shouldn't use a condom, or if you don't need to worry about it if you can't stand the band.

Nor why, if they're that bothered, they're flogging condoms and taking a licensing fee rather than, say, giving condoms away for free at their gigs.

Don't get me wrong, anything that stops JLS fans from creating a new generation has to be a good thing. But I can't help feeling that if you're the sort of person who buys condoms because they've got JLS on, you might want to ask if you're quite mature enough to be making decisions about sex in the first place.