Gordon in the morning: Lit crit

Gordon's got hold of a copy of Justin Bieber's book, and he isn't very impressed:

IF ever there was a reason not to give a teenager a book deal look no further than JUSTIN BIEBER.

Of course, if your column is stuffed with material like "Heigl makes a couple of legal boobs" because a woman spoke to the police while wearing a bikini, you might want to avoid rolling your eyes at other people's writing.