Gordon in the morning: Barlow hugs the Lord

Given how toe-curling that Jubilee song was, can anyone be anything other than mortified by the news that celebrity tax-dodge-loopholer-exploiter Gary Barlow is teaming up again with Andrew Lloyd Webber?

The Lord explains:

"I’ve come up with the tune this time and he’s already emailed me with lyrics this morning. It hasn’t got a title yet.

“Gary’s going to be down in Majorca this summer and so will I, so we’ll get together and something will come out of it.”

It's not unusual for Brits to head to Majorca in the summer, making something unpleasant while they're down there; this one might take more than a bottle of Flash and a hosepipe to clear away.