Friday, November 30, 2012

A festive announcement


Are you in charge of organising some sort of entertainment over the coming month or so? A school play, a Very Special Christmas Episode of something? Maybe a sports review of the year?

If you are, this is a plea going out to you.

Look at the bit of script where someone suddenly breaks into a dance, Gagnam Style.

Look at that bit, pick up a pencil, and scrub it out.

Yes, yes, you can't say "2012" without saying "Gagnam Style". But that's as in "god, I fucking hope once we're over 2012, people will stop with the Gagnam Style."

I know you're doing it to get a laugh. I know that you've chosen the most unlikely person to yell "Gagnam style" and do the dance. I know it's going to be the head teacher, or Bob from accounts, or - God help us - Patricia Hodge as Miranada's mother, saying "what I like to call Gagnam Style".

How many nativities are being planned with an "edgy", "cheeky" entrance of The Three Kings Of Orient celebrating the birth of a Tiny Tears Jesus with - ho ho - a traditional Eastern dance?

Pick up your pencil, strike out the dance.

Believe me, the loudest cheers this Christmas will be yours if you do. The producers who resist dragging Gagnam Style into their shows will be hoist upon shoulders, and paraded through the streets. I don't think it's going too far to suggest statues might be raised; medals struck.

Don't go Gagnam on us.

Thank you for listening.