Sunday, March 03, 2013

Ne-Yo: He's quite the catch, ladies

Let's skate over the impression Ne-Yo gives - that he's probably never seen a lady naked, much less touched one - and tune in as he shares his secrets for bedroom success, shall we:

I'm a firm believe in do me and I'll do you back. If you work me out, then I'm gonna work you put with the same amount of effort. That's how I rock.
Here's the thing, Mr Yo: if you say things like that, rather than reflecting well on you, it makes you seem like the sort of douchebag who expects applause for, basically, boasting that you're not a selfish dick in bed.

The whole comment has a nasty, sticky 'I'm Ne-Yo, you know, I don't have to treat the person I'm with like they have their own nerve endings' hanging over it.

Still, it's lucky Ne-Yo has a subtle seduction technique to fall back on:
He told Britain's more! magazine: ''One night we went to a club and bought about 50 bottles of champagne. We were ordering 10 bottles every 10 minutes. It's one thing to hand a girl a glass of champagne, it's another thing to hand a girl her own bottle.''
You'd have to hope the bottle came with its own ice bucket, because if you're being targeted by a man who thinks that buying a bottle of champagne every sixty seconds for the best part of an hour is impressive, you're going to need a bucket.

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