Geri Halliwell: Who judges the judges?

It's been a while since we heard from Geri Halliwell, who older readers might remember used to be in the Spice Girls (or Little Mix: The Wilderness Years, as they're now known.)

She's been attempting to relaunch her career by following the Father, Dear Father model - once your popularity in the UK has waned, decamp to Australia and hope they haven't noticed.

So, how has it been going? Digital Spy... do you know?

'Half of Me' sold less than 400 copies in Australia, where Halliwell currently lives and works as a judge on Australia's Got Talent.

Oh.

(I think, if MIA feels her sales don't make her qualified to be called a pop star, Geri might have to consider what her job title would be.)

Awkwardly, Geri had been planning to do the single on Australia's Got Talent this week, but now she isn't:

"So for the final show of Australia's Got Talent – I asked myself what are my options? (They were expecting me to perform the new single) Could I still perform the song at #94? I could pretend it hasn't happened? Denial? Hide my disappointment? Unleash the fighter... Sing the song with 'magnificent' gusto doing my best to promote back it up the charts… Maybe I could get it to a respectful number '30'? Or even '60'?

"But is this me now? To keep pushing, so my pride wouldn't feel so hurt? Or maybe I admit this song just hasn't connected?"

Obviously you couldn't do the song, Geri - you'd become the first judge in talent show history to be voted off her own programme. Do a Spice Girls one. At least give the audience the chance to go "ohhhhhhh... that's who she was..."