Saturday, September 05, 2015

Bruce Dickinson one of those old guys who thinks being disconnected is charming

Don't you hate those people who take some sort of pride in their distance from the modern world? Like hugely-specific unabombers who draw the line at technological developments after an arbitrary point. Amongst their number is Bruce Dickinson:

"I understand that in this day and age everybody has to have a big social media presence, and you have to look after your social media, and blah blah blah — okay, that's great," he said. "We've got a great team and they just look after the social media. I just completely ignore it. It's as if I live in another world, devoid of Twitter, devoid of Facebook, devoid of all the bullshit that gets talked about by all of these people. I just live in my own little head world. That's what makes the records. So I have no idea what's going on on Twitter, and I couldn't care less."

Asked if there is anything in particular about social media that bothers him, he said: "No, because I don't let myself get bothered. I pay no attention to it. I don't even know how to access Twitter. I mean, my mobile phone is a Nokia that I can't even take a picture on. It's held together with tape. That is my mobile phone, and people look at it with horror. People say, 'Well, why don't you have an iPhone?' Because it gets polluted by shit."
Ooh, you've got a Nokia, have you, Bruce? What are you, some kind of teenager with your trendy mobile walkabout everywhere phone? What's wrong with a traditional landline? Obviously not one with a dial, with all that 'having to look numbers up in a phonebook' shit, you just want to blow in a tube and get a telephonist to look after the connections, right?

It's worth remembering that when he's not being Grandpa Simpson or in Iron Maiden, Dickinson flies planes and runs an airline. With a taped-up Nokia which presumably connects through GPRS. He's a pilot.

"This is your captain speaking. Not though the intercom, which is just showy, I'm shouting through a rolled-up in flight magazine. Just so you know,I don't have time for all these bullshit dials and screens in the cockpit. I'm just using a barometer and a map in the back of an encyclopedia. Now, please pay attention to the talk about safety features on this plane, and be assured we haven't been polluted by shit like safety masks or whatnot. I don't even know how to use the switch for the landing gear, by the way."