We're confused by moral outrage

The Daily Star is disgusted by Tatu; so disgusted the whole of the front page was given over to the picture of the women kissing to show us just what's wrong. Russian MPs are outraged. The daily telegraph has touched itself and feels itself to be outraged.

But we're a bit confused. See, tatu are adults dressed as schoolgirls - now, since nobody has a problem with SchoolDisco (adults dressed as children, of course), why is this worthy even of comment? And if the sexualisation of school children is the real crux of the outrage, then why was there no fuss at all over Busted's what i go to school for (schoolboys spy on semi-naked teacher, end up fucking her) which is behaviour that is taken so seriously its about to be criminalised? Or over S Club Juniors, who - unlike Tatu - are actual children, actually dressed up to display sexual appeal?

Our problem with tatu is that its ugly women making insipid music, and we're amused that people who are trying to justify their sex-driven fixation with the Russians are clinging desperately to the production credits of Trevor Horn to claim musical merit in the tune. Sure, Horn produced 'Video Killed The Radio Star', Propaganda and Frankie Goes To Hollywood's pleasuredome album. But he also gave us 'Living In the Plastic Age', Dollar and Frankie's Liverpool album. The talent he has a producer lies in the strength of the material and artist he has to work with; Tatu are the sort of dull 80's eurohotelpop we've not seen since that hilarious time Princess Stephanie of Monaco had a crack at making records.

Seriously, if you want to see "schoolgirls" kissing, use google; don't buy a record.

And Britney suited school uniform so much better.