Tuesday, July 01, 2003

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO JAMIE THEAKSTON'S SHOW?: Cat Deely and Dermot O'Leary to join Radio One. We presume to do this sort of thing:

Simon Tyers suspects the top level meeting prior to the announcement may have gone something like this:

"So, gentlemen, the news is we've agreed two new signings - the by now irrepressible (well, have you seen T4 since he left?) all-action star of yoof TV and the increasingly orange yet still oddly likeable Next Big Thing Of Prime-Time. Now, what to do with them?"

"Well, how about we give them a really shitty, commercial network-esque showbiz party-themed magazine show in the Sunday afternoon throwaway slot, kind of like that Top Of The Pops show we used to give Jayne Middlemiss in the hope she wouldn't notice how fast the oil was draining from her career, along with carefully planted tabloid stories telling Sara to ship up or piss off even though Scott Mills will probably replace her if/when she goes, god help us?"

"Fantastic idea! And what's more, we can really piss off Edith, who might have been hoping to resurrect her Capital partnership with her, y'know, best mate, but instead will now have to spend twice as long listening to Colin making jokes about tits!"

"Brilliant ideas all round, gentlemen - that'll really get the puntersflowing back. Now, point 4, Mark and Lard's contracts..."

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