Friday, August 15, 2003

IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END OF SEASON 3 OF THE OSBOURNES TO BE SPOILED FOR YOU, LOOK AWAY NOW*: People seem a little confused by the ending of The Osbournes on MTV America this week. Apparently right at the end, the camera pulled back to reveal cuecards and remarks were made about "going home" and "not having to use the F word anymore."

'Does this mean it was all scripted all along?' comes the wail. Erm... well, first of: of course it bloody was all faked. What do you think? That people live like that? But also, no, of course not: while - like every bloody other 'reality' show there was selection, suggestion, reconstruction and construction, the end is one of those things called "jokes" that used to be popular back in the 70's. You'd have to be a bit thick to assume there weren't times the reality was helped along; you'd have to be as dense as a fruitcake on a lead slate to believe that any show which had meticulously scripted would then decide to throw that away and 'fess up with another series still to make.

MTV's response? "Was the whole thing a fake? Isn't this supposed to be reality television? Once again, 'The Osbournes' leaves us with something to talk about."

Yes, the 'something' being how thinly the ideas are being stretched now, how lacking nous the remaining handful of viewers must be, and how utterly vile the whole concept remains.

* - on the other hand, if knowing how this ruptured-bull-elephant of a show ends would cause you upset or distress, you're clearly beyond saving.

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