Thursday, March 25, 2004

BOYS LIKE YOU... ARE BAD THROUGH AND THROUGH...: Ah, pity the poor plight of the British Theatre. Where once Shaw and Wilde held court, now it's reduced to a murky backwater full of ill-conceived musicals based loosely on a collection of song titles. The latest threat is Wham! - The Musical, which apparently more than one producer is trying to bring to the West End. Actually, we could see this working if the early stuff was marshalled properly into vaguely homoerotic tale of a boy watching his best mate head off to get hitched without ever telling him that he had down there thoughts about him. Actually, we'd make it more than vaguely homoerotic. Very, very dirty indeed. But I can't see Ben Elton going down that route.

Anyway, regardless of how regrettable it all might be, George Michael seems to feel like it's an inevitablilty:

"Two or three different producers have approached Andrew and I about this and I'm a bit torn. I absolutely hate the idea on a creative level. But on another level I know that a certain generation of people would love it."

For which we read "fuck, I've committed myself to giving away my future records for free on the internet... how the hell will I pay the gas bill? Ah, I've got a cunning plan..."

But he admits that the creaky tunes which made early Wham so great were like musical timebombs:

"Those songs are borderline in terms of presentation, and the only reason we got away with the pastiche of them is because they were done with so much conviction and big hair and big teeth, and genuine fun and passion. But the truth is that done on stage there will be no charm and you'll be left with a lot of cheese, so I'm torn. Am I being too much of a snob? I would literally have to avoid the premiere."

On the other hand, we bet Andrew turns up, stuffing his overall pockets with the cheese footballs and gala pie slices from the green room.

hot cock action

- yes, only vaguely homoerotic...

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