Thursday, March 25, 2004

JACKSON LEAVES WORLD TO FEND FOR ITSELF: We're considering producing a 'more bad news for Michael Jackson' template to save our fingers. In fact, we might look into suing him if we ever develop RSI. This time, Jackson's charities are going tits-up; his Heal The World Foundation has been suspended since 2002, when it failed to file any accounting statements - in its last year its assets of USD3500 were nibbled away by USD2500 expense claims; Heal LA has been lying doggo since 2001 and the New York sister project Heal The Kids has been so useless that the attorney general has told it to disband; and the Neverland Zoo Foundation went to pieces in 1998.

It's not that Jackson hasn't been handing out cash, of course: it's just he's been a lot more targetted in his generosity, making a massive USD14million payment to one specific kid in a bid to keep him out of the courts.

Nobody seems sure why Jacko's charities have been faring so badly, although our charity expert said "Hello? Michael Jackson's charities? Would you trust him with so much as a meat raffle?" But perhaps the lack of any earnings he needed to have tax offset on might give a clue, too.


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