Thursday, March 24, 2005


The troubles of the rich and famous: the Beckhams are thinking of quitting Spain, according to The Daily Telegraph, because he's shit and needs a face-saving way of quitting Real Madrid ("because their kids are being hounded by paparazzi").

It must be terrible, though, all this press intrusion. It's not like they've used their kids as fame-fodder, flogging pictures of the tykes to Hello and OK, is it?

Three lions on his chest? Is his Jules Rimet still gleaming? The Daily Star seems to believe that Michael Jackson's a secret England fan because of a badge he was wearing:

Boys, Jackson thinks it's okay to have kids over for sleepovers. I wouldn't assume there's any rational thought process going on when someone helps him get dressed in the morning. The Mariah Carey story - 11 flunkeys to fix one broken nail - is fascinating; it sounds like a new take on the 'how many people to change a lightbulb joke?' (In this case, then, one to fix the nail, ten to provide counselling and... shit, nobody left to manage the negative publicity).

Jackson's on the front of the Sun, although we should point out the phrase "Jacko's teen porn stash" doesn't refer to the picture of Coleen McLoughlin in a bikini next to it. We think. Incidently, amidst all the coverage of Wayne Rooney's latest punch-up, we noticed that Coleen is now being referred to as "aspiring actress" - which we guess means she's abandoned the attempt to be a pop star already. Phew.

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