Tuesday, July 19, 2005


What's worrying Joss Stone? Apparently, it's that The Gap are trying to pass someone else's arse off as her's:

From a large-screen TV, Stone's GAP commercial is airing, the one where she's hawking white jeans by crooning her version of "The Right Time" for a few cute friends during what looks like an impromptu backyard concert.

"That is so crazy," she says, as images of swaying bodies flash across the screen, everyone decked out in summer Gap wear. The camera pans to her pals, then to her face, then to what looks like her swaying rear.

"That's not my bum!" Stone screams.

"All these bum shots? They're not mine. They're like other girls. That's not my bum, I promise," she says, watching the screen with morbid fascination. "They totally make it like it is."

Good god, Joss - are you telling us that you didn't realise that The Gap are part of a fashion industry obsessed with a very narrow concept of what may be deemed "perfect" and are quite happy to lie, distort and airbrush anything to fit that concept before you signed up to do an ad for them? Presumably you've returned the large cheque in protest at this.

YahooMusic doesn't ask. But then, we suspect Stone might have had copy clearance on this piece:

The album also brought disbelief in some corners — that a white chick from rural England could sing like Aretha Franklin. That a mere teen could wrap her voice around the pain of soul.

Although, then again, if her press people had had the chance to review the article, perhaps they could have prevented this clunker from appearing:

"I kind of have two people talking to me. One says, 'That was really crap. You're the worst singer in the world.' The other says, 'Hold on for a second, Joss. You just stood up in front of billions people worldwide. Just shut up. Stop beating yourself up.' I'm like a schizo. I have two voices in my head."

Now, we're sure that Stone isn't really as stupid to believe that sometimes having self-doubt is the same thing as being schizophrenic, and we're sure that if she'd have thought about it for a moment or two, she'd have realised that it's a little offensive to suggest that a serious and debilitating illness is on a par with sometimes thinking that you've hit a bum note. We're absolutely certain about that.