SUDDENLY, G4 MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE

Louis Walsh, one of the "experts" who judges on The X-Factor, has had his ears cleaned out. This, clearly, is an act of public-spirit we should all applaud - we'll all benefit if he can actually hear the bunch of Tomcats-with-knackers-caught-in-mangles auditioning on the programmes; but if we had to sit at a table with Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne skriking their opinions, we wouldn't be having the wax taken out of our ears. We'd be wedging cheese, crayons, anything to hand in them.

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