THE LAWYERS WAR ON JACKSON

You'd have thought that Michael Jackson would have spent more than enough time in courts, but apparently not. It seems he's the victim of the world's worst miscarriage of justice, and he's going to do something about it.

He believes his previous legal team were trying to send him bankrupt, says Raymone Bain, his manager and spokesperson:

"He has long been suspicious that some of those whom he entrusted to act on his behalf... may not have always acted in his best interest..."

She said Jackson had obtained documents that pointed to "one of the biggest conspiracies in entertainment history".

Raymone Bain, who as well as being Jackson's spokeswoman is also his manager, did not name the people behind the alleged conspiracy.

But she did say that it had been realised when documents were sent to Jackson "which reveal a deliberate plan by some former attorneys as well as associates and advisors to force Mr Jackson into involuntary bankruptcy."

We're not entirely sure how far this conspiracy went - did the lawyers put kids into pyjamas and parachute them into Jackson's bed? Did they tie him to a chair to stop him from honouring his commitments?

The big question, of course, is what motive these people could have had for killing off what was obviously a very lucrative source of income. If Jacko's cracked a conspiracy, he must know to what end they were conspiring, right?

She also revealed that it is not yet known why Jackson's former associates would plan to bankrupt him.

"That's what we're trying to find out," she said.

Perhaps they were planning to build a Wal-Mart on Neverland? Maybe they wanted to get their hands on the llamas?

There is no suggestion that Mr. Jackson is in any way developing paranoid tendencies, in case you're wondering. These things don't need any further developing:

"Mr Jackson is neither shocked nor surprised. He's always been suspicious that some of those whom he entrusted to act on his behalf, and to advise him with respect to his personal and business affairs, may not always have acted in his best interest."

Coming next week: the doctors knew that nose would fall off.

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